An Incomplete List Of Things I Would Like To See Happen To Ramsay Bolton From ‘Game Of Thrones’

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05.16.16 23 Comments
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I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get flung into a lake.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get flung into a canyon.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get flung straight into the dang sun.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get cornered at a party by a wellness blogger who has many very strong opinions about gut health.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get clobbered so hard on the top of his head by a giant that he ends up buried underground with only the top of his head sticking out, like a carrot.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get folded up into a tiny little origami swan and presented to Sansa Stark as a gift.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get kicked in the groin over and over for all of eternity by Arya Stark, who, in this scenario, is really, really good at kicking.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get a very unfortunate haircut and then sit next to a group of mean teenage girls at Panera.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton wait for hours at the DMV holding a ticket that says “45,” and then I would like to see the “Now Serving” screen inexplicably skip from 44 to 46.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get eaten by a dragon and vomited back up, but with, like, fire vomit.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton pay $5,000 for an after-market ticket to Hamilton and then find out at the theater that the ticket was fake.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton run into Hodor and Bran and grab Bran and hold a knife to his throat while taunting Hodor like, “What are you going to do about it, you simple dirt-brained ogre?,” and then I would like to see Hodor put on sunglasses and say “I’m gonna take out the trash” moments before pulling out a gun and firing a bullet that zips centimeters away from Bran’s head and hits Ramsay right between the eyes.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton on the receiving end of a wedgie from The Rock.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get castrated by a maniacal, cackling Theon.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton standing at the bar with a $20 bill in his hand, waving it around furiously, trying to order a drink for the girl from work he’s had a crush on for months and who just broke up with her boyfriend, but getting ignored by the bartender.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get eaten by a bear.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get locked out of his car in the pouring rain while holding an umbrella that has been turned inside out by the wind.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton say something rude to Brienne and then immediately get his head chopped clean off so it still has the smirk on its face while it’s rolling around in the dirt.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton take eight to ten swings to get his ball out of a bunker during a round of golf.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton fly coach on a transatlantic flight and get stuck in a middle seat between an overweight couple whose vacation went so poorly that they’ve decided to get divorced.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton get stuck on hold with his student loan provider for an hour and then have the phone ring twice like he’s about to get a person, but then it just disconnects him.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton eat bad shellfish and get a violent bout of food poisoning.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton lose a $100,000 bet because someone hits a meaningless half-court shot at the buzzer that results in the team covering the spread.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton say horribly graphic and disturbing sex things to Daenerys and then get firemurdered in front of thousands of people.

I would like to see Ramsay Bolton cry.

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