My three favorite things in the whole entire world are funny fake names, the NBC comedy The Good Place, and making content online, so I am very pleased to report that the season three premiere of The Good Place featured some great fake names, and I am going to blog about it.
The facts are as follows: At the end of season two, Ted Danson’s character, Michael, a bespectacled immortal architect of hell who is undergoing a crisis of conscience, orchestrated a plan to send our four main deceased characters — Eleanor, Chidi, Tahani, and Jason — back to Earth in the moments before their death in the hope that they improve as people. Unfortunately, this plan does not work. They all stay the same. Fortunately, Michael then decides to go back to Earth and give them nudges in the right direction. Even more fortunately, he does so as a range of characters with a range of made-up names. Which gets us caught up.
Let’s rank some fake names.
4. Unnamed mysterious Australian library employee
I’m mad. I am legitimately angry. Unless I missed it somewhere, Michael’s Australian library employee was never given a name. I even zoomed in on his badge to see if they snuck it on there as a little Easter egg. Nope. Nothing. Unacceptable. If you know anyone on the show’s writing staff, please harangue them until they give you a name for this guy. I think we’ve earned it.
The only silver lining in all of this — or one of the two silver linings, with the other being Ted Danson’s terrible Australian accent — is that his lack of a name leaves the door open to limitless possibilities. He could be Rick Manitoba. He could be Bosco St. Cloud. He could be Felix Waffles. His name can be whatever you want it to be.
Hmm. Until provided with evidence that proves otherwise, I say we go with Felix Waffles.
3. Gordon Indigo
Gordon Indigo is such a great name. It’s a great name, in general, of course, thanks in part to the bookend hard G sounds that bounce around your mouth when you say it out loud, but it’s an especially great name for a crystal-hawing new age-y charlatan with beaded jewelry and a wardrobe of flowing cotton. Take one second and picture that face and name on the cover of a self-help book titled, like, The Power of You or something. You can see it crystal clear, can’t you, sitting on the shelf of a suburban bookstore somewhere. He probably has a column in Goop.