House of the Dragon’s latest episode proves that even royals can be messy b*tches.
“King of the Narrow Sea” ramps up the drama in King’s Landing, beginning with the return of the prodigal son (Daemon Targaryen, naturally) and ending with disinheritance, a bromance breakup, a secret tryst, and an arranged marriage. In other words, this episode of HoTD is cosplaying as a later-season installment of Gossip Girl and we are loving it!
Strap in, the tea is piping hot – unless you’re a Targaryen. Then, we guess, the temperature really doesn’t matter to you.
Pretenders
Otto Hightower
Well, well, well. How the turn tables … turn. Otto Hightower’s fall from the king’s grace comes swiftly this week, propelled by his glaringly obvious ambition to put his grandson on the Iron Throne. Technically, Otto did the job he was hired for. His spies in King’s Landing reported Rhaenyra’s discretion and he warned the king before the rest of the small council – and all of King’s Landing – could pass their own judgment. But Otto failed to remember one vital piece of information – the messenger is always killed, especially when he’s trying to gossip about a girl’s sex life with her own father. Not cool, my dude.
Alicent Hightower
Speaking of weird father-daughter relationships, Alicent really went through it this episode. It turns out, wearing a golden crown doesn’t really make the role of “royal brood mare” any more bearable, and, despite patching things up with her bestie, Alicent seems really unhappy in her current situation. She’s surrounded by crying babies and decaying husbands and fathers who overlook her worth in favor of her son’s. She’s been reduced to a royal bather and sex doll and honestly, it’s just gross. If she wasn’t such a try-hard, we’d feel sorry for her. As it is, her father’s recent ousting can’t mean anything good for her own relationship with the king.
Rhaenyra Targaryen
Like a typical teenager, Rhaenyra spent this week’s episode dating around, drinking underage, and partying a bit too hard. After being disappointed with the medieval speed dating event her father arranged for her, Rhaenyra sulked her way through Daemon’s welcome home party before confiding in Alicent about her worry over getting married. Instead of talking to her therapist about this deep-seated trauma response, she sneaks out of the castle and goes galavanting around King’s Landing with her mischievous uncle. Their whole escape after dark outing was giving major “a whole new world” vibes until Daemon decided to take his intoxicated niece to a damn pleasure house, reveal her identity to all the miscreants there, then try to bang her in a crowded room filled with naked strangers. An Aladdin remake this most certainly was not. Daemon abandoned her before things could go too far but Rhaenyra decided to do her own bit of seducing when she got home on poor Sir Cristin Cole. On the one hand … go girl? On the other, Rhaenyra is clearly in a position of power and Sir Cole obviously struggled with how to say no. What seems like a harmless fling for her could mean his death, or, at the least, the end of his knightly career. She ends the episode betrothed (against her will, of course) but relatively unscathed thanks to the plot armor of white privilege.
Contenders
Daemon Targaryen
Listen up ones, a ten is speaking. Daemon Targaryen is firmly in his Hot Girl Summer era. He’s got a new haircut, a new crown, and a devious new plan. First, he returns to King’s Landing and ingratiates himself to his estranged brother by revealing he’s won control of the Step Stones and, despite the people there wanting to name him king, Westeros’ true ruler is already seated on the Iron Throne. Of course, any goodwill Daemon earns is quickly squandered when he f*cks with the reputation of his niece, but even that felt like a calculated move. Daemon’s intentions towards Rhaenyra are purely selfish. He sees her as a way to more power and uses her insecurities – her loneliness, her worries about childbirth and marriage – against her, grooming her, abandoning her, and then falsely claiming he took her virtue. Daemon hopes his confession will lead to his brother giving him Rhaenyra’s hand in marriage but Viserys surprises him (and all of us) by instead disinheriting Daemon and trying (in his own way) to protect his daughter by marrying her off quickly to the realm’s most powerful House. Still, Daemon is clearly more cunning than we first thought so best keep an eye on this drama queen.
Viserys Targaryen
Poor Viserys. He begins this episode by reuniting with his beloved brother, bro-ing out in front of his wife and daughter, enjoying a hot bath, and getting laid. He ends it by banishing his sibling, breaking up with his Hand, suspecting his wife of deceiving him in his time of grief, and having to discipline his wayward daughter by marrying her off to a rival House that’s been causing him all kinds of headaches. The crown is heavy and Viserys is buckling under its weight. But he does manage to make some surprisingly calculated choices this episode that should ensure the safety of his bloodline for a little bit longer. That’s more than we expected from this wet blanket tbh.
Corlys Velaryon
The Sea Snake is proving to be just as wily and ambitious as his partner-in-crime, Daemon Targaryen. This week, his negotiations with the Free Cities, and his threat to marry his daughter off to a House of Bravos, had the small council shaking in its gold-threaded little house slippers. Now normally, such aggressive chess moves would end with the King declaring war, or at least, cutting Corlys off from the rest of the Realm’s resources but Corlys lucked out this episode when Rhaenyra decided to Thot her way through the underbelly of King’s Landing. And really, isn’t that all one needs to become king? A bit of planning and a lot of luck?
Aegon Targaryen
Aegon is still in diapers so he doesn’t do any of his own scheming this episode but, when you’ve got Otto Hightower on your team, you really don’t need to. In fact, Aegon could very likely sit back for the next decade and let his older sister and trouble-making uncle ruin their own inheritance plans – they’re doing a bang-up job so far – and just ascend the throne once he survives puberty. It’d be a lot less embarrassing for the poor kid.
Wound Watch
*Alexa, play Sheryl Crow’s “The First Cut Is The Deepest”
Once again, Viserys avoided injury by simply avoiding sitting on his pointy-ended throne but his missing fingers and discolored forearm were on full display. And, was it just us, or did the camera really focus on his infected back wound during that torturously-long sex scene?
