[This post contains spoilers for The White Lotus]
The biggest surprise in The White Lotus season two finale wasn’t Portia’s grandma-core outfit; she’s been dressing that way all season. It was Jennifer Coolidge’s Tanya blasting the high-end gays (and their big-donged Italian friend) with a gun before they could do the same to her, only for her to meet her demise when she attempts to escape the yacht.
R.I.P. (the “P” stands for “Peppa”).
It was a shocking ending for one of the only characters to appear in both seasons one and two, who was expected to return for season three. But maybe she still can. There’s two options here: season three is a prequel (did someone say early ’90s ski lodge?), or better yet, creator Mike White could find inspiration from Coolidge’s personal life.
Last year, pop culture’s number one MILF told The Kelly Clarkson Show host Kelly Clarkson about a vacation she went on (there were no suitcases full of poop involved… probably). “Quite a few years back, I did come to Hawaii and when you come and you’re on vacation alone, you can kind of like create anything you want. I ended up meeting these two guys that were best friends and I liked them both, and so I told them that I had an identical twin and I dated both guys… for two weeks,” she said. “I don’t know if I would have the guts to do that now but at the time it really was sort of a great decision.”
It would also be a great decision for Tanya to have a twin sister in season three. This would be a soap opera-ass way to keep Jennifer Coolidge on the show, because the more Jennifer Coolidge, the better. And if Tanya’s twin sister — named, let’s say, Sanya — gets revenge on Greg by cutting his penis off, even better.