Jimmy Kimmel’s two greatest feuds are with Matt Damon and Ted Cruz (Seth Rogen can relate). In recent months, he’s called the Texas senator a “scumbag,” “lying little bitch,” and someone who’s “willing to roll the dice on a civil war.” The Jimmy Kimmel Live host naturally had a lot to say about Cruz deserting Texas, where his constituents have been without power for days due to a historic winter storm, for sunny Cancun.
“On a day when the most newsworthy landing should have been the NASA Rover successfully touching down on Mars, instead, it was a senator from Texas touching down on Cancun,” he said. “While his fellow Texans are freezing with the power out Ted Cruz did what any great leader would do when his state needs leadership most. He booked a flight to Mexico and said, ‘Adios, amigos!’” Kimmel also called Cruz a “snake on a plane” who was “headed, ironically, to the very place he tried to build a wall around.”
As for the senator’s piss-poor excuse for why he abandoned Texas, Kimmel said, “But why settle for just being the planet’s biggest hypocrite when you can be a world-class liar, too?” Cruz was “careful not to say he was planning to fly back this afternoon because he wasn’t,” Kimmel pointed out. “He just said he did, and in fact, NBC News has a source that says he was originally booked to fly back Saturday. He booked his return ticket at 6 a.m. this morning after he got busted. But I guess we were supposed to believe he was chaperoning his wife and kids to Mexico and was planning to come back the next day all along — with a carry-on bag stuffed like a piñata.” You can watch the clip above.