Coolio Says His ‘Celebrity Wife Swap’ Appearance Was A Sham

You know what? Let’s check in with Coolio. If you remember, the antenna-haired 90s rapper appeared on ABC’s Celebrity Wife Swap recently, swapping significant others with skunk-haired 90s rocker Mark McGrath. I missed the episode because I am still protesting ABC’s decision to bump Happy Endings from the time slot, but why don’t we see how Coolio thinks it all went.

Coolio has caused controversy by alleging his appearance on ABC’s “Celebrity Wife Swap” was fake, and he wasn’t in a relationship with the woman who posed as his girlfriend.

[drops coffee cup]

The rapper took part in the series with a woman named Mimi, who he claimed to be his longterm partner, and they were rumored to have ended their relationship shortly after taking part in the show with Sugar Ray singer Mark McGrath and his wife Carin.

However, Coolio has now raised doubts about the authenticity of his turn on the show by claiming Mimi wasn’t his girlfriend.

“Listen. It was all set up,” he tells Britain’s Daily Record, “I’m nothing like that (how I was portrayed on the show). I’m not even with Mimi. I never was. She’s a friend of mine.”

Let me be clear about something: If this, somehow, someway, leads to Congress stepping in like they did during the Van Doren scandal in the 1950s and putting an end to the whole staged reality show industry, and Coolio — COOLIO — is the whistleblower responsible for it all, I will be so happy I will explode. There’s no real legal justification for it this time, sure, but I can dream.

Congressman: Now, Mr. Coolio…

Coolio: Coolio is fine.

Congressman: Okay, Coolio. You say these reality shows are rigged. A sham. A flim flam. Would you like to elaborate on that?

Coolio: Sure.

Congressman: The floor is yours.

Coolio: [sits back, takes deep breath] Now I’ve seen places. And faces. And things you ain’t never thought about thinking. If you ain’t peek then you must be drinking… and smokin.’ Pretending that you’re loc’n, but you’re broken. Let me get you open…

(After four hours of testimony by Coolio, Congress votes unanimously to regulate reality television)

Congressman: You have done the nation an important service, and you are a great American.