Here Are All The Lewd, Crude Highlights From ‘The Comedy Central Roast Of Rob Lowe’

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It’s that time again. Comedy Central’s annual roasting of an A-list celebrity is here — well it will be here come Labor Day — and Rob Lowe has been chosen as this year’s metaphorical pig for slaughter. The former Brat Pack and West Wing actor has amassed some 30 odd years in the business, complete with sex tapes, nanny lawsuits and alarming amounts of drug use, so there’s plenty of ammo for the comedians who have been tapped to give him a good ribbing.

Among the professionals recruited to verbally abuse poor Lowe for our amusement are Roast Master David Spade, recurring roaster Jeff Ross, Jimmy Carr, Nikki Glaser and Rob Riggle. Of course, it wouldn’t be a true roast without a few non-comedians in the stand-up lineup. Peyton Manning, Jewel and everyone’s most-hated Donald Trump supporter, Ann Coulter, will also be on hand to hurl some insults at the actor — though we hear Coulter wasn’t spared any jabs either.

Whether these roasts are completely humane is still up for debate — although it’s hard to imagine anyone taking issue with Justin Bieber getting flayed by the likes of Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg last year. Usually though, the celebrity takes it all in stride, even when some of their most painful and humiliating moments are re-aired for a cackling audience.

For Lowe, some of the night’s best jokes centered on his 1988 sex tape scandal with a 16-year-old girl. Apparently, the ceremony was opened with a five second clip of the tape, proving that nothing was off limits.

Ross probably summed up the night best when he delivered this zinger: “Truly Rob, roasting you wasn’t easy. What can I say that hasn’t been said in court by three nannies, a chef, and an underage girl from Atlanta?”

Of course, Spade got a few punches in too, hearkening back to one of Lowe’s earliest roles and his time spent dallying in prescription pain meds and cocaine.

“Rob was in the movie The Outsiders back in the day,” joked Spade. “His character was Sodapop because he was 98% coke.”