Stephen Colbert’s List Of Rudy Giuliani’s ‘Achievements’ Since The Election Is Stunning

Rudy Giuliani joined Donald Trump’s legal team in April 2018, but he didn’t come into his own as a ooze-leaking, fart-emitting, bumbling idiot until the 2020 presidential election (the collusion stuff seems so quant now). During Monday’s episode of The Late Show, host Stephen Colbert fired off a list of Rudy’s many triumphs since early November.

“So, for just a partial list of Rudy’s achievements since the election: He’s lost 48 lawsuits, he melted on camera, he farted in court, he got COVID, and he shut down a state legislature. The only thing more embarrassing would be if he married his own cousin. He what?!” Colbert joked (to be fair, Regina Peruggi is Rudy’s second cousin). That leaves out the Four Seasons Total Landscaping debacle, asking a witness to remove her mask while she was sitting next to him, and asking Trump for a “preemptive pardon,” a normal thing for an innocent person to do. At least he brought the wild wine lady into our lives.

Rudy was a hot topic on The Daily Show, too, where host Trevor Noah said that the former-NYC mayor only has “himself to blame for this. I mean, this dude was going all over the country refusing to wear a mask. What do you expect? If I go around licking car windshields, I can’t be shocked if I get bird flu. Or if I go around drinking at bars until 3 a.m., I can’t be surprised when I go home with yo mama!” Watch the clip below.

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