TV

Rudy Giuliani Bizarrely Claims His ‘Trial By Combat’ MAGA Coup Battle Cry Was Actually Just A Totally Innocent ‘Game Of Thrones’ Reference

If you thought Rudy Giuliani confusing Borat for a real person was weird, he was just getting started. In an interview with the Hill, the disgraced lawyer (and disgraced former-mayor) (and disgraced Adam Sandler movie co-star) explained his comments at last week’s Trump rally, where he called for “trial by combat” in front of thousands of riled-up MAGA heads who would soon storm the Capitol building in a failed coup. It wasn’t what it sounded like, Giuliani contends. He was only making a Game of Thrones reference.

“I was referencing the kind of trial that took place for Tyrion in that very famous documentary about fictitious medieval England,” he said. “When Tyrion, who is a very small man, is accused of murder. He didn’t commit murder, he can’t defend himself, and he hires a champion to defend him.”

I… I just… I have no idea where to begin. Rudy has broken me like he’s Jaime and I’m Bran. “Tyrion, who is a very small man.” Who is Tyrion in this story? Himself? Trump? And then there’s: “That very famous documentary about fictitious medieval England.” Rudy has somehow seen enough Game of Thrones to reference Tyrion’s trials by combat, one more successful (Bronn throws Ser Vardis Egen through the Moon Door) than the other (The Mountain pops the Red Viper’s eyes like grapes), but not enough to realize it’s not a VERY FAMOUS DOCUMENTARY ABOUT FICTITIOUS MEDIEVAL ENGLAND. The dragons should have been the first clue.

Giuliani continued, “I’m talking about trial between machines. In fact, you’ll see it comes up exactly in the context of I challenge them to allow us to examine their machines. And then I say the consequences of the trial by combat will be if they prove that we’re wrong, we’ll be exceedingly embraced — we’ll be disgraced. If we prove that they’re wrong, they go to jail… I’ve had speeches where people jump up and say, ‘Lock him up.’ It was not an emotional — it was not an emotion-inspiring part of the speech.” Phew. I’m glad that’s all cleared up, except for the part where you called Game of Thrones a “very famous documentary.” Unlike Tyrion, Rudy Giuliani smokes, and he doesn’t know things.

×