Stephen Colbert Is Really Looking Forward To The Inevitable Trump-Inspired ‘American Crime Story: Mushroom Dong’

The late night talk show world is back in the age of President Trump, as a titillating new book by former White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham, a.k.a. the White House press secretary who never held a single press conference, is dishing some hilarious details on what really went down when Trump was in charge. While much is being made of the bombshell that Trump underwent a secret colonoscopy—without anesthesia!!—as he didn’t want to be the “butt” of every late night talk show’s jokes (you can hear what Jimmy Kimmel had to say about that here), Stephen Colbert wanted to “travel a few inches down the old taint highway to the president’s junk.”

Pulling another gem from Grisham’s book, The Late Show host shared the president’s bizarre—and terrifying—reaction to Stormy Daniels’ declaration that Trump’s penis had an “unusual” shape with “a huge mushroom head.”

“After Stormy Daniels spilled the beans on his frank, the president called Grisham ‘from Air Force One to assure her that his penis was not small or toadstool-shaped,’” Colbert explained, adding that, “It’s all going to be in next season’s American Crime Story: Mushroom Dong.” In Colbert’s mind, “Sarah Paulson plays the mushroom dong and she just transforms. Unbelievable! Every day, seven hours in the chair for makeup.”

You can watch the full clip above, beginning around the 6:50 mark.