Stephen Colbert‘s love of Tolkien’s Lord Of The Rings is well documented. Not only did the man get a cameo in The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug, but he hasn’t faced a trivia question that he couldn’t crush (except for that one time, but it was a lame technicality). His favorite topic comes up once again on The Late Show on Friday night, when he reported on Napster creator Sean Parker’s Middle Earth themed wedding after the the news recently broke that and the fact that Sir Ian McKellen turned down $1.5 million to officiate in character as Gandalf. Why? Because “Gandalf doesn’t do weddings.” Damn straight, he doesn’t.
Following this bit of news, Colbert let lose a torrent of beautiful nerd speak that would make Tolkien himself swoon.
“Gandalf doesn’t have time to marry you, Sean Parker. He is a servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. He killed the mother trucking Balrog after chasing the ancient, immortal demon through the tunnels of Khazad-dûm until they climbed the peak of Zirakzigil, where he smote the demons ruin on the mountainside.”
Never, ever challenge Colbert on his Middle Earth knowledge. The man knows his Maiar from his Valar.