UPROXX 20: Desmin Borges Is Always Down For A ‘Golden Girls’ Marathon


Desmin Borges is an actor who’s appeared on The Good Wife and Preacher. He’s best known, however, for co-starring on You’re The Worst as Edgar Quintero, an Iraq War veteran with PTSD and a love for improv. The FXX comedy’s third season begins on Wednesday, August 31.

Borges was nice enough to take a few minutes out of his busy schedule recently to answer a few questions from us.

1. You walk into a bar. What do you order from the bartender?

If it’s a school night, I’ll take a Willett Rye with a couple of rocks or a Hitachino Nest White Ale. If it’s time for debauchery, I’ll take a Swampy Kettle One Martini, with some Blue Cheese stuffed olives. I call it “Swampy” ’cause I want to make sure the bartender knows I don’t want to be able to see through that sheeeeiiiittt.

2. Who is your favorite person to follow on Twitter and/or Instagram?

@chefvikkik ’cause her posts are straight up food porn AND @bulldogdays ‘cause them pups are too damn cute. My favorite comedian on Twitter though is Donald Trump.

3. What’s currently waiting for you on your DVR?

Is it 2007? Do people still pay a ridiculous fee to rent DVR boxes from their cable provider? IF I had a DVR, The Night Of and The Get Down would be at the top of my recorded queue. Also reruns of The Golden Girls that basically just play on a loop in my house.

4. It’s your last meal — what are you going out with?

(Spoiler alert, this list is going to be decadent as f*%k) I’d start with “Oysters and Pearls” from Thomas Keller’s Per Se, the beef tartar from Balthazar, and three deconstructed Philly cheese steaks from Jose Andreas’ The Bazaar. Follow that up with steamed pork buns from Zakary Pelaccio’s Fatty Crab, and a blue cheese burger with shoe string fries from The Spotted Pig. I’d then cleanse my meat sweats with a bomb ass mixto ceviche from El Camelo in Tulum, and an order of Slippery Shrimp from Yang Chow. Following that, I’d mentally prep for dessert which would include a Fruity Pebbles Ice Cream Sammy from Milk, an apple fritter from Donut Friend, and a good ole’ fashioned banana split from Margie’s Candies. I’d then finish off this ridiculous meal with my favorite sweet/savory treat — a biscuit and homemade chive butter from Bang Bang Pie and biscuits in Chicago’s Logan Square.

5. What websites do you visit on a regular basis?

I stopped visiting websites for pleasure ever since Grantland was shut down. Now I visit purely for business: so, Pinterest.

6. What’s the most frequently played song on your mobile device?

Ever? “Workin’ Day and Night” by Michael Jackson.
Currently? “Panda” by Desiigner.

7. The first face that comes to mind when you think “punchable?”

Donald Trump. Or Justin Bieber. Wait, Jay Leno? Nawwwww, let’s stay with Trump. WAIT — can I put Trump’s face on Bieber’s body and punch that?

8. What’s the last thing you googled?

Matthew Berry’s 2016 Fantasy Football Love/Hate List

9. Dogs or cats?

Dogs… because cats will wait around after you to die just so they can eat your eyeballs. That sh*t is creepy.

10. Best concert of your life was…?

Selena at the Astrodome. It ended up being her last performance ever (sad face).


11. What book are you most likely to give as a gift?

Eat With Your Hands by Zakary Pelaccio or The Question Book by Gregory Stock, Ph.D. Both changed my life in the best of ways.

12. What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

When I was 15 years old, my pops was battling cancer. The night he passed, I was at my best friend Justin’s house when I got the call from my mom. As I stood there stunned and helpless, Justin’s older brother Jeff (who picked on me for as long as I can remember) grabbed me and hugged me as I broke down in his arms. As an only child I naturally thrive on my independence, but that night was the first time I understood the depth and the privilege of having an older brother. Thank you, Jeff.

13. South Park or Family Guy?

Simpsons, Archer, BoJack Horseman and Rick & Morty in that order.

14. You have an entire day to do whatever you want. What would you do?

If money wasn’t an issue? I would rent a private jet, fly to Italy, eat them out of pasta and wine, and be back home in time for a late night marathon of The Golden Girls. If money was an issue, all that same stuff but I wouldn’t pay for it.

15. What movie can you not resist watching if it’s on?

Forrest Gump.

16. The sports team or teams you’re most passionate about?

Da’ Bulls, Da’ Blackhawks, Da’ Cubbies and of course DAAAA’ Bears!

17. Where did you eat the best meal of your life?

El Vaso de Oro in Barcelona. It wasn’t “fancy” or stupid expensive, there was no molecular gastronomy going on behind the scenes, and I didn’t have to call three months in advance to get a table. It was a small, cramped tapas bar off the beaten path that was filled with locals. They made the best steak and grilled peppers I have EVER had in my entire life. Not to mention they be overflowing with hella’ tasty Estrella on tap served in icy cold tall boy glasses.

18. The last movie you saw in a theater?

It was either Drive or that food truck movie with Jon Favreau. I have a hard time telling Gosling and Favreau apart.

19. Who was your first celebrity crush?

Alyssa Milano à la Who’s the Boss.

20. What would you cook if Nic Cage was coming to your house for dinner?

Nothing terrifies me more than a Nic Cage meltdown. I’d turn the lights off and hide in my basement yo!

PREVIOUSLY: Jeff Foxworthy

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