Inside Amy Schumer (Comedy Central, 10:00 p.m.) — Amy Schumer is back, and she’s ready to give us more thought-provoking social commentary in the form of some crass, crude, completely hilarious comedy sketches. Tonight, Amy deals with her mommy issues, falls in love with her barista and loses her head (possibly literally).
America’s Got Talent (NBC, 8:00 p.m.) — The auditions continue. Nick Cannon is as annoying as ever. Howie Mandel is still bald. And Mel B is giving us major Spice Girls nostalgia.
Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader (Fox, 8:00 p.m.) — A bank teller and a spin instructor test their IQ levels and make us all feel better about not remembering that damn Pythagorean Theorem equation.
Pretty Little Liars (ABC Fam, 8:00 p.m.) — Spencer’s got a case of insomnia, and Kenneth reveals some secrets about Charles’ past.
WWE Tough Enough (USA, 8:00 p.m.) — Season 6 premieres with host Chris Jericho ushering in a new crop of WWE hopefuls competing to become the next Superstar and Diva. (Because wearing spandex shorts and giving yourself a corny-as-hell stage name is the American dream.)
Deadliest Catch (DSC, 9:00 p.m.) — Jake Anderson captains the Saga for a bit, while Keith makes an interesting addition to the Wizard, and the other Hillstrand brother returns to the Time Bandit.
Extreme Weight Loss (ABC, 9:00 p.m.) — A New Orleans couple proves that relationship weight gain theory when it’s revealed they’ve added on a total of 150 pounds since being together. Their solution? Attend a boot camp, get engaged and then go three months without seeing each other before the wedding. Yeah, this will go well.
Rizzoli & Isles (TNT, 9:00 p.m.) — “A tournament-leading fisherman is killed, plunging Jane and Maura into the high-stakes world of competitive bass fishing.” (If anyone is able to take this episode description seriously, I salute you.)
Stitchers (ABC Fam, 9:10 p.m.) — When Cameron’s neighbor is murdered, the team stakes out his neighborhood in order to uncover whether Cameron was the real target.
Ink Master (Spike, 10:00 p.m.) — In the Season 6 opener, apprentice artists battle their masters, and a challenge is judged blindly. (Hopefully the permanent markings these people are putting on their customers’ bodies are done the same way.)
Proof (TNT, 10:00 p.m.) — The only thing worse than your wife dying is her coming back from the grave to haunt you.
Tyrant (FX, 10:00 p.m.) — Molly’s having a hard time being in the States without Barry, as Jamal struggles to deal with the loss of a close relative.
Royal Pains (USA, 10:00 p.m.) — Divya grows close to a prince; Hank treats a transgender teen; and Paige and Evan are realizing that parenthood might not be all it’s cracked up to be.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Jon Hamm and Lizzy Caplan on Kimmel; Channing Tatum on Fallon; Colin Farrell and Matt Bomer on Meyers; Seth MacFarlane on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart; and Lauren Graham and Colin Quinn on Conan. Corden is a repeat.
