Drunk History (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.) – Taran Killam takes on Russia, the Cold War and Jake Johnson as American Chess King Bobby Fischer. Side note: While I enjoy watching this show, it also makes me realize how much I could’ve loved history if all of my boring, old professors taught lessons while downing bottles of scotch. The American educational system should really take some notes from Comedy Central.
The Flash (CW, 8 p.m.) – Season two kicks off with some dude, who thought that Atom Smasher would be a cool super villain name, attacking the city as Barry tries to go into it solo and save everyone on his own. Iris, like the rest of us, thinks that’s a bad idea.
Grandfathered (Fox, 8 p.m.) – A family beach trip goes awry because John Stamos doesn’t do family beach trips. John Stamos does glamorous pool parties that require VIP invites and have a no babies admittance policy.
NCIS (CBS, 8 p.m.) – Bishop and McGee get fake married in order to spy on a marine lieutenant and his wife, while Gibbs investigates the murder of a marine at Quantico.
The Muppets (ABC, 8 p.m.) – Ron Swanson Nick Offerman stops by to help Fozzie get his sh*t together, while Christina Applegate serves as a guest on Miss Piggy’s late night talk show, and Liam Hemsworth helps Gonzo get his online dating profile in order.
Fresh Off the Boat (ABC, 8:30 p.m.) – In tonight’s episode, a romantic wedding anniversary is staged at a car dealership, and Eddie purchases a hot-dog shaped water slide.
The Grinder (Fox, 8:30 p.m.) – Dean’s feeling pretty good about his first big win as an actual lawyer and has his eye set on a huge case. Meanwhile, Debbie takes Dean’s advice by aggressively pursuing a promotion at work. (It doesn’t end well.)
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC, 9 p.m.) – An Asgardian helps the team rescue Simmons after she was swallowed by that monolith thing, while Agent May finds herself at a crossroads.
NCIS: New Orleans (CBS, 9 p.m.) – A high-tech jet crashes, a combat pilot dies and the team has to figure out if it was human error or an aircraft malfunction that brought the plane down.
Scream Queens (Fox, 9 p.m.) – Chanel’s busy getting her haunted pumpkin patch fundraising idea off the ground while Grace and Pete pay a visit to a woman with a Kappa past, and Dean Munsch tries to keep the university from closing its doors. Also, being that last week was basically an homage to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, expect to see the Red Devil find an exciting new way to chop up victims.
iZombie (CW, 10 p.m.) – Liv is back and deader than ever. (Sorry, couldn’t help it.) Season two begins with the undead medical resident paying a surprise visit to Blaine after ingesting the brain of a grumpy old man, while Major experiences side effects from the cure.
Ink Master (Spike, 10 p.m.) – The remaining artists must survive a tattoo marathon to make it to the finale where their fate will be decided by the viewers.
Limitless (CBS, 10 p.m.) – The awesome thing about having chemically induced super human abilities: You’re quick to discover links between murdered FBI agents and drug cartel overlords. The bad thing about having chemically induced super human abilities: You can never be quite sure if your ex-girlfriend wants to get back together because she’s into you or because she’s into how superhuman you are when you dope up.
Public Morals (TNT, 10 p.m.) – Muldoon’s experiencing a bit of trouble at home while Lt. Kane hooks up with a former flame, and Patton begins to question his brother’s loyalty.
Tosh.0 (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.) – In which Tosh offers tribute to women everywhere in the form of sexy male dancers, shares his feelings and dishes on celebrity gossip.
Punk’d (BET, 10:30 p.m.) – A fan invaded Kevin Hart’s personal space, and Karrueche Tran’s driver makes an unexpected pit stop.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Eric Stonestreet on Kimmel; Lady Gaga, Ronda Rousey and Hailee Steinfeld on Fallon; Bill Clinton, Billy Eichner and Florence and The Machine on Colbert; Rooney Mara on Meyers; Chris Parnell and Nina Dobrev on Corden; Aaron Sorkin on The Daily Show with Trevor Noah; and Ellen Page on Conan.
