Pat Sajak, the host of Wheel of Fortune since 1983, a full 40 years now, announced this week that he will step down at the end of the current season. This means two things, primarily. The first is that we have now pretty much completed our longtime game show host turnover, with Drew Carey in at The Price Is Right for Bob Barker and the Jenning/Bialik team in at Jeopardy for Alex Trebek. It truly is the end of an era there. It’s a little weird to think about.
This brings us to the second thing: We, uh, need a new host for Wheel of Fortune. And I have some ideas. Are they good ideas? I mean… kind of. To me. Maybe not to you or the people actually conducting the search, but still. You guys should get your own pop culture column and write about it if you think you’re so great.
I’m sorry for snapping. I get excited. Here we go…
Ryan Seacrest
Seacrest is the oddsmakers’ favorite so far. He has hosting experience galore and a big hole in his schedule after leaving Kelly Ripa to handle the mornings herself and he had a long history with Merv Griffin, whose company owns the whole show. It doesn’t take a leap of imagination to picture him doing it, either. Close your eyes now and imagine him standing in Sajak’s spot, with a suit on and some cards in his hands. It plays. Maybe not the most exciting option on the board, but I don’t think “excitement” is what the Wheel crowd is looking for anyway.
It looks like the ball is rolling in that direction, too.
Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ … Ryan is an option to replace Pat and he’s been talking to Sony about potentially taking over for the retiring host. We’re told Ryan has some time in his schedule now to possibly make this work, as he’s no longer on “LIVE with Kelly and Ryan.”
Which is, like, fine. I don’t know. There’s not really too much to add here beyond what is already in front of our faces, so let’s just go ahead and post the tweet where Sylvester Stallone implied Seacrest can beat up Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Why would I put JCVD , and I do like him, in EXPENDABLES when I know SEACREST could destroy the one time great . ASK STEVE AUSTIN, he knows.
— Sylvester Stallone (@TheSlyStallone) September 17, 2010
The ending of this tweet — “ASK STEVE AUSTIN, he knows” — is maybe the most fascinating collection of words I have ever seen.
Whoopi Goldberg
Seacrest might be the favorite because of his credentials hosting big events and competitions, but Whoopi is arguably more qualified just on the basis of being an EGOT winner. I like to think that’s her whole application for the gig. Just a picture of her holding all four statues. And make no mistake: Whoopi wants this job. You can tell because she literally said “I want that job” on an episode of The View earlier this week.
When the women asked him for his thoughts on Sajak’s retirement — having stepped into the shoes of an equally iconic host when Alex Trebek died — Jennings joked that “hopefully ‘Wheel’s’ got an envelope somewhere that says ‘What to Do When Pat Packs It In.’”
At that, host Joy Behar chimed in that “Whoopi wants the job,” and the moderator was quick to piggyback on it.
“I want that job,” she confirmed. “I think it would be tons of fun.”
Whoopi would be more fun than Seacrest and it opens the door to one of the other ladies from The View — Joy Behar, let’s say — replacing Vanna White, which would really just be very funny and confusing for the home viewers. Plus, if it happens, the announcement could result in more celebrities accidentally mangling her name via autocorrect, which would be a blast for me.
Btw….forgot to inform everyone I've been asked to Co-Host "The View" once again. I'm co-hosting with Whoops Goldberg on July 15th.
— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) July 6, 2010
Let’s keep this option on the table.
Guy Fieri
Guy Fieri pulling up to the wheel in a classic convertible at the beginning of every episode.
Vanna White in the passenger seat, hair blowing.
Lots of food-based puzzles now, like “BACON DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER” and “DISCO FRIES.”
He does every show in a bowling shirt and cargo shorts.
The prize puzzles now are trips to various diners around the country.
It could work.
Sam Richardson
I do not actually want this because I prefer having Sam Richardson free to do a slew of other projects (The Afterparty, various sketches where he plays a game show host on I Think You Should Leave, etc.), but I don’t think there is any denying that the man would be incredible at it. Get him in there with Patti Harrison turning the letters. Go full chaos. Let’s have some fun.
Me
My qualifications are as follows:
- I know all of the letters
- I am very good at the kind of small talk the host does at the beginning of each segment, and please take a short elevator ride with me sometime if you doubt that
- One time in Atlantic City, a lady sitting next to me won like $500 on a Wheel of Fortune slot machine
- I like it when things spin and/or light up
- I love bloopers (see above)
Please consider.
Joe Tessitore and Rob Riggle
A few small changes…
- The wheel is now surrounded by water
- The contestants have to putt a golf ball onto it as it spins and get whatever prize or dollar amount it lands on
- When they want to solve the puzzle, they have to try to run across the spinning wheel without splashing into the moat around it
I realize this is basically just Holey Moley but with puzzles. I know that. But, in my defense… I really do want to see it.
Joe Pera
Joe Pera is a very sweet and very funny man who has a wholesome face and desert-dry delivery and I think it would be a lot of fun to watch the nanas of the world react to him hosting their favorite game show.
The Muppets
Any Muppet will do, really. Kermit as host with an increasingly cranky Miss Piggy turning the letters and doing the little bouncy thing she does when she walks. Gonzo in a little suit grabbing the wheel to give it a final spin and getting stuck in the pegs and whipping around at 1000 miles per hour until he flies off and into the studio audience. Statler and Waldorf up in the balcony mocking the contestants when they get a wrong answer. These are all good ideas.
The funniest would be the Swedish Chef, though, just ARGLE-BARGLING his way through the hosting duties, making no sense, causing mass confusion. Animal is Vanna now. Sometimes we cut to the board and it’s just on fire. You would watch.
Beyonce
I don’t know. I just think it would be funny if we all woke up tomorrow and saw a headline like “Beyonce Agrees To Be The New Host Of Wheel Of Fortune.” That would be wild. People would lose their minds a little bit.
Maybe we do Guy Fieri and Beyonce, where she hosts and he turns the letters. That could work. Let’s not rule it out.
