With all the hubbub about Charlie Sheen — it’s impossible not to parody, and I’m more guilty than anyone — I thought it was important, in discussing his four-dimensional yacht seen by only the gnarliest of gnarlingtons (which killed his TV show and the jobs of the entire crew), to also remember the scummy butthole who was egging him on the whole time. Because behind every a-hole picking a fight with a guy twice his size is an even smaller a-hole shouting, “Damn, you’re not going to let that big oaf casually glance at you like that, are you?”
Alex Jones is that friend, and he is a butthole. Here’s to you, butthole.
So that’s what I’ve got. Feel free to make your own.