Now Do Rock Hoover!
The Bucks Could Leave Milwaukee


By 01.28.09

Jesus.  It wasn’t enough to make two unbearably mediocre Tomb Raider movies, now Warner wants to reboot the franchise, which was based on a video game that was never more than “Indiana Jones, but with big tits” to begin with.  I love tits as much as the next guy, but never has so much been squeezed out of so thin a concept.  Coming soon!  Pornstar Eating a Hot Dog: The Future Begins!

The new project is expected to revamp the character [with a new actress] and her mission and bear little resemblance to the original pictures. It will reimagine the origins of the character, her love interest and the main villain. [THR]

Well color me excited. A thousand bucks says the new version involves parkour.


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