Jim Carrey’s Video Love Letter to Emma Stone

This is already everywhere, so I might as well get it up as soon as possible. Jim Carrey made a video love letter to Emma Stone [TRANSCRIPT AFTER THE JUMP] and put it on Twitter. As a dude older than Emma Stone myself, I think the basic idea was funny, but it needs a punchline of some kind to make it less creepy. Sidenote: What is it about Canadians that makes you super weird in your old age? By the way, I made one of these for Eden Wood (aka Cutie Patootie) that was way funnier and equally heartfelt (“I just wanted to let you know that I think your patootie is all the way cutie, not just beautiful, but not snooty”), but the cops said they had to destroy it. Now, what I’d really like to see is Emma Stone’s reaction video. |EOnline|

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“I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but, you know, smart and kindhearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you, and we would have chubby little freckled faced kids. We’d laugh all day long and go camping and play Yahtzee and tell ghost stories by the fire. And the sex? Everyday for the rest of your life, you would thank God that I was the appropriate age for you. But I’m not. I’m 49. I have lines on my face, sometimes a little grey in my beard, and it takes me a little longer to pee than it used to. Those are the only discernible signs of aging that I can find so far.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I felt. You’re pretty special, and I wish you continued success and artistic fulfillment, but most of all, I wish you love and contentment. That’s all.” [TheSuperficial]