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NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

By 01.20.12

OH, WELL EXCUUUUSE US FOR ASKING, PRINCESS TWO-TWAT YARGLBARGHHHHH!!! (*kicks cat through open window*)

A woman with two vaginas who has captured the attention of the porn industry has said she would never consider accepting any role in a film.
But the horrified blonde
, from High Wycombe, claims she would turned down any deal.
According to This Morning, she said: ‘I have never received any offers of this kind of work nor would I never consider doing it in a million years.
‘I just want to be left alone.’

THEN WHY ARE YOU ON MY TV?? Ugh, so disappointing. I just can’t understand how any woman could fail to be swayed by this man:

HE SEEMS SO TRUSTWORTHY!

But she told ITV’s This Morning she was comfortable with having the condition - despite the fact she had to effectively lose her virginity twice.

She didn’t even save one vagina for marriage? What a whore. She could’ve had the equivalent of the Of Mice and Men vaseline glove on her chonch. “Oh no, leave that one alone, I’m keeping it soft for my husband.”

‘Once I found out what it was I told everybody,’ she told TV hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield.
‘I thought it was amazing and it’s definitely an ice-breaker at parties’
She added: ‘If women want to have a look, I’m quite happy to show them, it’s not something I’m embarrassed by.’ [DailyMail]

(*puts on wig, charters flight to England, applies lipstick*)

Come on, at least show us the pictures! It’s sad when you can’t even convince a chick who goes to sex clubs and flashes her double beav for anyone who asks to do a porno. She seemed so open-minded at first. Then someone mentioned porno and, boom! She clammed right up. (I’m sorry).

With a name like “Hazel Jones,” I’m hopeful that we can still convince her to do some kind of softcore blaxploitation film. “Starring Hazel ‘Two Vagina’ Jones…” just has a nice ring to it. “Twice the action! Twice the sex…”


TAGSHAZEL JONESPORNOSTEVE HIRSCHTWO VAGINASvivid

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