Uwe Boll’s films exist as a sort of practice facility for movie critics to work out their best insults, as his highest scoring film on Rotten Tomatoes is Assault on Wall Street (14%) and the rest that even have scores are mostly below the 10% line. Simply put, his movies are horrible. But that hasn’t stopped the German director from forging ahead with franchises like Bloodrayne and In the Name of the King, as well as his passion projects that focus on today’s most important political and social issues.
That’s why he bought the film rights to the popular and controversial Postal video game series, so he can target and destroy everything in the world that is pissing him off, and even though the first Postal film was perhaps his most poorly-reviewed effort, Boll is asking for your help via Kickstarter to make Postal 2. With 38 days remaining on his goal, though, Boll has only raised $58,000 of the $500,000 that he needs.
Gee, I wonder why.
“A lot of the Postal fans don’t have the maximum amount of money,” Boll tells THR, trying to understand why he’s not seeing better results on Kickstarter. “They can’t send $100 over. 90 percent of the Postal fans are illegal movie downloaders who never pay to watch a movie.” Boll says he’s waiting for promotional support from folks like Ward; Vince Desi, CEO of Running with Scissors, the game developer behind Postal; and actor Larry Thomas, whom Boll insists “wants to [reprise his role] as Osama bin Laden.” Even if the cast and crew do shoot videos encouraging fans to donate, he’s not optimistic.
Boll admits he could scale down the movie and invest his own money, but to ensure Postal 2 is as insane as it can be, the filmmaker needs the full, fan-supported $500,000. “The problem with a Postal movie is you need a lot of actors. You have a lot of sets, you have a lot of action, and it’s not cheap,” Boll says. “I don’t want to limit Postal. I don’t want to write it down where everything takes place in Dr. Drew’s rehab center. I don’t want it to just be a reality parody.” Oh yeah, Dr. Drew is in the movie too. (Via THR)
Basically, Boll is like that Facebook friend who is just pissed off about everything and finds no joy in life, because “the NSA is stealing our secrets!” and “Bin Laden isn’t dead, man!” and “Monsanto’s injecting alien DNA into our chicken!” and he wants everyone to be miserable together. That’s why he thinks that you should pay him the $500,000 that he needs, even though he just admitted he won’t even use his own money, so he can skewer the big, bad government, SEAL Team Six and Honey Boo Boo all within the same 100 minutes.
And if you think that this guy isn’t completely batshit, out of his mind insane, watch this actual pitch from the Postal 2 Kickstarter page that Boll had to add when he realized no one wanted to give him money, as he tells us to go take money from children so he can “rape Heidi Klum.”
I’m not going to lie – I kind of want to see him get his money.