Wolf of Wall Street did a great job depicting Jordan Belfort as a guy who got rich ripping people off, who never really got punished or learned any lessons (which was somewhat cheapened by Leonardo DiCaprio appearing in Belfort promo videos calling him “brutally honest”). This despite spending 22 months in jail for securities fraud and money laundering, and getting divorced and everything else. Belfort still owes restitution money all around town, but shockingly, he’s been slow to actually pay out. This while making more than a million dollars selling the rights to the book of him bragging about all the shady stuff he did.
These days, despite still owing almost $100 million of the $110 million restitution he was ordered to pay, the self-appointed sales guru who “empowers young entrepreneurs,” apparently lives in a four-bedroom, five-bathroom, 4,000 square foot beach front home in Hermosa Beach, California, south of Los Angeles.
Belfort’s business JB Global Holdings LLC is registered to an oceanfront home located at 3423 The Strand in Hermosa Beach, Calif. His fiancée is also listed as a member. [DeathandTaxes]
To be fair, before he got busted, Belfort lived in a flying pussy yacht made of cocaine, so this is still a step down. Conveniently for us, the home even has its own YouTube highlight video:
I’ve never lived in a home that had its own YouTube video, but my apartment in New York did once play “Pedophile’s Apartment” on an episode of Law and Order (true story).
According to the video, the theme of the home is “elegance,” perfect for the guy who does lots of coke and beats up his wife. In the kitchen, we learn that “A six-burner range with double ovens is nestled amongst a tumbled travertine backsplash.”
I don’t even know what that means, but I have an erection. Oh my God, are those triple porcelain be-dongled twin toilet ramekins? I think I just double glazed my pants.
So, should we take bets on what Jordan Belfort’s official explanation for living in a multi-million dollar home while still owing millions in restitution will be? I’m between “that’s just my business address” and “my fianceé is independently wealthy.”
Time will tell.