One Direction is Now a Metal Band (Morning Links)

01.08.14 4 years ago

You wake up. Your teenage kid is a 29-year-old cashier at Best Buy. He/she listens to really cool, really heavy metal bands like Slayer, Nile, and One Direction. 1D is a five-man hardcore piece straight outta the grittiest knocks the UK has to offer. Glenn Danzig discovered them on the X-Factor, that show where the world’s most extreme punks rock out to out-shock the world. Chaos reigns. One Direction shreds. Blood pours from the sky and your grandson’s name is Larry Stylinson. This… is the twilight zone.

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