Saturday Free for All: Turtle Rape Shoe Part 3

Senior Editor
10.13.12 17 Comments

HOW DOES THIS VIDEO ONLY HAVE 150 VIEWS?! Maybe it’s going over peoples’ heads. You guys get it, right? It’s a tortoise having sex with a watering can. THAT’S THE JOKE.

(*stares at video again*) (*looks at watch*) How long is this video? Jeez, turtle, 30 seconds? You’re making the rest of us look bad. Whatever. I could probably last 30 or 40 seconds too if I thought I was going to live to 200. Me, I got stuff to do. TRUE STORY: My girlfriend watched this over my shoulder, sighed, and said “Sometimes I feel like the watering can.”

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-Thanks to Robopanda for the tip

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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