Weekend Movie Guide: Super 8, Throw-up, Poo, & Pee

Hi.

Weekend Preview: I guess Super 8 is gonna be the thing this weekend, because it’s pretty much the only new movie getting a wide release. (Haha, wide release means sex.)

Super 8: The Abrams/Spielberg super-duper top secret alienmonstertrain1970s movie.

RottenTomatoes: 83%

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Abrams fashions Super 8 in such a calculating manner, with every element weighed both for maximum nostalgia value and ironic hipster cred, that it has an artificial feel to it. It’s like a birthday cake made of spun glass.”‘ – Peter Howell, Toronto Star

“E.T. texted a homey, Spielberg paid the earth-bound ticket, and now we have Super 8.” – Mike Ward, Richmond.com. [Note: I’m only including this quote because the phrase “E.T. texted a homey” kinda makes my favorite ODB clip relevant.]

“Has moments of greatness, but the ending is a slight disappointment.” – Richard Roeper, RichardRoeper.com

“Loving, playful, and spectacularly well made, Super 8 is easily the best summer movie of the year — of many years. And I make that declaration with full knowledge that the season has just begun.” – Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly

Armchair Analysis: Except for our fearless leader, the reviews are generally positive. I don’t know what that means. It’s either the best summer movie in the history of the sun, a wet fart, or somewhere in between. My biggest gripe is with the SHHH IZ ALL SECRETS marketing strategy. I’ve refused to see movies marketed this way since I took a date to see Blair Witch as a teenager. My date hated it, I wasted like $20, and any semblance of “mood” was killed by some old lady who got WAY motion-sick from the shaky camera. Do what you need to to stir up interest Hollywood, but don’t salt a man’s game, nah mean?

NEXT: JUDY MOODY AND THE NOT BUMMER SUMMER

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