William Fichtner, or that guy from the bank in The Dark Knight (I don’t recognize him from anything else because I’m like 9 years old), has been cast as Shredder in Michael Bay’s upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Shredder, aka Oroku Saki—who is definitely Japanese—has been played typically by actors who your average coked up producer would call “Definitely Asian, like, I mean are you kidding me? Where’d you say you were from? No, really from.”
Except one time Kevin Nash was Super Shredder, but whatevs. All’s fair in love and war and the path to Magic Mike.
But now, people are reasonably annoyed that Michael Bay has pulled a Michael Bay and offered up a solid “no thanks, jabroni, loll 8===D~~” to the notion of diversity and faithfulness in his adaptation. Maybe this is better, though. I remember a few of Michael Bay’s attempts at approaching minorities and they’re all aggressively racist, so, I guess it’s not as actively bad if he just, whitewashes his source material? I don’t know, man, I need another bump off of Megan Fox’s unexamined hypersexuality. I mean ass.
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The Morning Links
FYI: The C*nt Punt Queen Is Back On Twitter And Using It Perfectly |UPROXX|
Leaked ‘Walking Dead’ Set Photos Tease Long-Denied Comic-Book Development |Warming Glow|
The Iron Sheik Is Trying To Raise Money For A Documentary About His Life |Film Drunk|
A 12-Year Old Girl Can’t Play Football Because Boys Get Boners, And Also The Bible |With Leather|
Ellen Page Finds Sony’s Ellen Page Obsession As Weird As The Rest Of Us |Gamma Squad|
Here’s Why The NBA Finals Are Bad Business For The Adult Entertainment Industry |Smoking Section|
Torrey Smith’s Modest Proposal To Patriots Fans |Kissing Suzy Kolber|
8 Disney Sequels That Didn’t Happen |Mental Floss|
Your Complete Guide to Nicolas Cage |College Humor|
Mad Men Power Rankings: Finale Edition |Grantland|
35 WTF signs. |TheChive|
Kim Kardashian is “addicted to breast feeding!” God, this is the stupidest story ever. |TheSuperficial|
6 Images That Ruined the Lives of People They Made Famous |Cracked|
146 people named their children “Khaleesi.” |Videogum|
8 Disney sequels that didn’t happen. |MentalFloss|
Why women love losers, a science. |MadeMan|
Baby Hates Chewbacca |Clip Nation|
Despicable Human Being Chris Brown is Still Despicable |IDLYITW|
Why The Civil Rights Allegory on ‘True Blood’ is So Misguided |BuzzFeed|