For anyone who was
reading children’s books super cool in the early-to-mid 90s, you’re going to remember a series of children’s books horror novels called Goosebumps, from author R.L. Stine. They were essentially a watered down version of Tales from the Crypt and you can bet dollars to donuts that every kid in America screamed and complained until their parents purchased all 164 books. R.L. Stine knew kids were smoking through his books like dope, so then the guy decided to capitalize and branch out into the interactive gaming marketplace with 1996’s Goosebumps: Escape from Horrorland for Windows. And who better to play the villain of Dracula, in this project, than an overtly sexual Jeff Goldblum? No one, my friends. Absolutely no one.
“Power…it’s what I have, it’s what I am.”
“Now listen, you and I are gonna’ dance.”
“Wait a minute -we’re gonna’ dance?”
These are lines that Goldblum actually says to a preteen girl in the game. This is dialogue that a serial killer spits out to a mannequin in their apartment -and yet- you can’t help but find yourself somehow enjoying his performance, however sensual and creepy it may be.
So what’s the lesson here today? That’s correct: playing the villain in a video game based on a children’s book series ensures a lasting film career. You heard it here first, folks. Footage after the jump, skip ahead to the 6:05 mark to watch the Goldblum-ing begin.