The first pictures of Russell Crowe suited up as Superman’s dad Jor-El are after the jump to avoid spoilers. These come from DailyMail, who kept it classy with the headline “Paunchy Russell Crowe suits up to play Superman’s dad (but he can’t keep away from his own kryptonite… nicotine)”. At least he was looking no more chubby than previous Jor-El Marlon Brando while rocking some awesome shoulder pads over a costume with a pretty cool texture and color scheme. Good luck replicating that, inevitable porn parodies.
We exhausted most of our fat jokes in the last Jor-El post, kind of like Crowe exhausts his lungs when trying to climb stairs. 30 odd steps of grunts, you could say. More like Jor-El-O, am I right? What do you you mean, Jell-O’s not that fattening? It is when you dip it in batter and deep fry it. That’s how we roll in Iowa. And by Iowa, I mean Russell Crowe’s kitchen. I’ll stop now.
[Hat tip to ThePlaylist for making most of the banner picture. Take a wild guess which part I added.]
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