Well folks, E3 2012 is officially upon us! Are you one of those people unfortunate enough have a job and/or responsibilities that might keep you from watching video game press conferences in the middle of the workday? Don’t worry! I’ll be recapping the “Big 3″ console makers’ press conferences right here on GammaSquad.
In addition to relaying the facts, I’ll be blasting you with my instant, off-the-cuff, totally knee-jerky reactions to all the reveals. Will I make some statements I live to regret? Oh, most definitely, but I think it’ll be more fun this way.
Hit the jump for all the fun from Nintendo’s E3 press conference…
You can click Here for Nintendo’s full show (sorry, haven’t been able to find an imbed yet) but just in case you’re starting to get press conference fatigue, here’s my handy, snarky recap.
- Shigeru Miyamoto’s backstage. Dude’s been hitting his Wii Fit — looking lean, mean and ready to go. Why, what’s this? There are Pikmin romping about his dressing room! They follow him as he makes with way through the backstage area — Miyamoto walks out in front of the audience and the show begins!
Instant Reaction – Fun opening. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe, just maybe Miyamoto’s going to announce Pikmin 3?
- Miyamoto announces Pikmin 3.
Instant Reaction – CALLED IT!
- Game looks solid visually, but not exactly out of this world. Basically looks like the Gamecube game in hi-def with better water effects. There’s new Rock Pikmin you can use to break objects.
Instant Reaction – Argh! They’ve broken the tradition of color-coding all the Pikmin! This isn’t right! My OCD can’t handle these rock Pikmin interlopers!
- Game can be played with Wiimotes, or you can use the WiiU GamePad for an overhead tactical view. The game can now be played with up to four players. Interestingly Olimar is not one of those characters. It appears as if you might be controlling a family — one of the controllable characters definitely looks Mom-like. Lots of new enemies — big translucent bug boss, floating jellyfish guys and more.
Instant Reaction – The overhead tactical view is definitely welcome as I’ve always wanted to be more into Pikmin, but have found the games kind of a pain to handle.
- Miyamoto pulls a plush Pikmin out of his pocket, makes a motion as if he’s going to throw it to the crowd, but then decides not to.
Instant Reaction – What a heel.
- Miyamoto pulls a little power play and calls Reggie Fils-Aime out like he’s a Pikmin. Reggie says he feels like a purple Pikmin — you know, the fat ones.
Instant Reaction – Bet Miyamoto scripted that line for him.
- WiiU can change your life! Changes your gaming! Changes how you interact with you gaming friends! Changes how you enjoy your TV! Revolutionize your living room! Integrate and elevate your living room entertainment! It’s the new disruption!
Instant Reaction – Can you tell Reggie came from a marketing background? Maximize and actualize your gaming synergy!!!
- The WiiU will support two GamePads, just like the NES did back in the day!
Instant Reaction – Bragging that your new console will have the same feature-set as the NES isn’t really a thing you should do.
- Some talk of the WiiU’s new front end/social platform, the Miiverse. Basically when you power on your system there will be a number of floating icons representing games. Around those games Miis will congregate — these can be your own Miis, your friend’s Miis or the Miis of random people who are playing similar games as you. Little speech bubbles with messages or doodles will appear over the Miis’ heads.
Instant Reaction – There are going to be soooo many dick doodles on everybody’s WiiU.
- You’ll be able to access the Miiverse on the WiiU, 3DS, PCs and smartphones. Eventually.
Instant Reaction – It wouldn’t be a Nintendo console if you didn’t have to wait months/years for basic promised features.
The Miiverse — like this, but with sooo many more cocks and random hookup requests.
New Super Mario Bros. U
- Miiverse integration — messages from friends will pop when you die, and be visible on the world map. Gameplay is strictly 2D, but there are a ton of scaling layers in the background.
Instant Reaction – Definitely looks more detailed and rich than New Super Mario Bros. Wii, but there’s something kind of off about the visual style. Looks kind of cluttered.
- Water level, forest level, sky level, grass level, spooky level, snow level, giant level.
Instant Reaction – Well, all the tropes are covered.
- You can use the GamePad to help other players by placing extra platforms. Otherwise the game is controlled with Wiimotes.
Instant Reaction – Soooo, likely the biggest launch title only uses the GamePad for a gimmick of limited appeal. Hmmm.