Oh Godzilla. I have a soft spot for the big beefy-thighed lizard, so over the years I’ve played a lot of Godzilla games, and most of them have been bad. Like, really bad. Even Superman has probably had, on average, better games than the King of Kaiju.
By all accounts the new Godzilla movie is pretty good — good enough that you may be tempted to scrounge up some Godzilla gaming fun. Well, unless you immediately want to sully your good Gojira vibes, you should absolutely avoid these five games (ranked from bad to worst)…
5) Godzilla (1990)
I’ll give this Gameboy version of Godzilla points for being adorable, but when you pick up a Godzilla game you expect wanton destruction — not a gentle puzzle-platformer. As far as cutesy puzzle-platformers go, it’s okay, but who wants to play a Godzilla game where Godzilla can’t jump, breathe fire or do anything except throw a feeble punch?
4) Super Godzilla (1994)
Super Godzilla for the SNES was fairly impressive graphically, but the gameplay couldn’t have been duller. For whatever reason a lot of Godzilla games try to foist some kind of strategic gameplay off on the big green guy. Most of this game is spent staring at a map screen as Godzilla very…slowly…trudges…around. Once you finally do encounter another monster, the battle system is this sort of rhythm-based RPG amalgamation that I never fully understood.