Watching movies on DVD with my mother is always a treat, because she doesn’t pay attention, she asks a thousand questions, she talks to the TV, and she will figure out the ending 45 minutes in (and will make sure to tell you about it, and then say “I told you so!” when the credits start to roll.) For example: while watching Iron Man, she kept asking “What is this guy’s job? Does he have a job? This guy doesn’t even have a job, how does he afford all those cars?!” and “Oh I bet Beau Bridges is the bad guy,” like six minutes in. (Don’t try to correct her on which Bridges brother is which, I don’t even think she cares that there are two.)
Anyway, her observations while watching G.I. Joe, which she apparently did not see before she saw G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation, were “They could have picked a more handsome Duke,” (sorry, Channing Tatum) and “This movie is much better with The Rock.”
So I guess she’ll be happy to know that Paramount plans to have the next G.I. Joe in theaters in 2016, and they’ve found a dude to write words for The Rock to say, not that she’ll pay any attention.
Jonathan Lemkin previously wrote The Devil’s Advocate and Red Planet, both of which I kind of liked. Paramount also just hired him to write The Longest Night — a “based on a true story” Coast Guard rescue movie which Frank Marshall will direct when he’s done with Jurassic World — so it seems kind of like they’re lobbing Lemkin a softball by putting him on an action figure movie, but whatever the last one grossed eleventy billion dollars, so what do I know.
The Rock is expected to return for the third installment, much to my mother’s delight, and this will probably revolve around his character, “Roadblock.” No one is officially attached to direct.
Here is my favorite GIF of The Rock: