Jurassic World was released on DVD last week, which serves as a reminder Universal Pictures will inevitably start filming a sequel soon. Bryce Dallas Howard has already revealed there will be no high heels in the sequel, but what can we expect to see when Jurassic Park 5: Jurassic World 2: The Squeakquel hits theaters? It turns out Twitter was way ahead of us on this one, coming up with new plot ideas months ago with the hashtag #RealJurassicParkProblems.
For some reason, we suspect director Colin Trevorrow won’t find these Real Jurassic Park Problems to be the plot he’s seeking, considering some of these suggestions are depressingly realistic, scientifically plausible yet absurd, downright morbid, or simply mundane. The tweet that started it all is a particularly uncinematic complaint:
Trembling cup of water is slightly too full, leaves a ring. #realJurassicParkproblems #jurassicworld
— @flyingtrilobite.com on Bluesky (@FlyingTrilobite) November 24, 2014
You just know some haughty tourist at Jurassic Park would call the front desk to complain about that. “I want to speak to your manager!”
Continue reading our favorite Real Jurassic Park Problems below for more plots Jurassic World 2 could steal if they had the dino-cajones.
Electric fences go offline; dinosaurs don't notice because they are busy being dinosaurs. #realJurassicParkproblems #JurassicWorld
— @flyingtrilobite.com on Bluesky (@FlyingTrilobite) November 24, 2014
https://twitter.com/thisbrokenwheel/status/537004024705609728
Opening of park delayed for two years after discovery of fossils during construction. #RealJurassicParkproblems #mitigation
— Trevor Valle ➡️ Arrakis (@tattoosandbones) November 24, 2014
Ingen goes bankrupt feeding t. rex other cloned dinos cause they can't digest mammals. #realjurassicparkproblems #JurassicWorld
— Ethan Kocak – COMMISSIONS OPEN-ISH PROBABLY (@Blackmudpuppy) November 24, 2014
https://twitter.com/hairymuse/status/536981905757859840
Insurance premiums #RealJurassicParkproblems
— darthskeptic (@darthskeptic) November 24, 2014
Visitors perpetually asking, where are the velociraptors, are they behind that little turkey? #realJurassicParkproblems
— Ethan Kocak – COMMISSIONS OPEN-ISH PROBABLY (@Blackmudpuppy) November 24, 2014
The cost of flying halfway around the world is not worth seeing a bunch of giant birds for most people #realJurassicParkproblems
— Nate “hilarious pun” Remick (@EnremGeek) November 24, 2014
.@Blackmudpuppy every single dinosaur is susceptible to avian flu virus. #realjurassicparkproblems #jurassicworld
— Mattie (@GreatBigG) November 24, 2014
https://twitter.com/thisbrokenwheel/status/536952928083247104
https://twitter.com/cabinetkeeper/status/536956972634222592
https://twitter.com/Ryn_Bru/status/536964968034611200
https://twitter.com/CabbagetownMatt/status/536958922675200000
https://twitter.com/hairymuse/status/536957198056689664
Stegosaurs spend 90% of their time nudging the lysine-pellet distributor in the corner of their paddock. #realJurassicParkproblems
— @flyingtrilobite.com on Bluesky (@FlyingTrilobite) November 24, 2014
Post-it: Order more goats #realjurassicparkproblems
— Prof Richard Johnston (@DrRichJohnston) November 24, 2014
https://twitter.com/alandove/status/536927529714855936
Post-punk teens working the concession stands quietly resent the faux-polo shirt uniforms. #realJurassicParkproblems
— @flyingtrilobite.com on Bluesky (@FlyingTrilobite) November 24, 2014
https://twitter.com/thisbrokenwheel/status/536933816368394240
The maintenance team are kept busy replacing signs where pedants have replaced 'Jurassic' with 'Cretaceous' #RealJurassicParkProblems
— S. M. Clabby (@SMClabby) November 24, 2014
Park too far away to sustain visitor numbers, Ingen starts selling paintings made by velociraptors. #realJurassicParkproblems
— @flyingtrilobite.com on Bluesky (@FlyingTrilobite) November 24, 2014
https://twitter.com/CabbagetownMatt/status/536971279866535937
