This week’s episode of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” was memorable for a lot of reasons. One, Gretchen threatened to unleash the wrath of “furry” on Vicki, which was almost cute. Two, there were more penis jokes than usual (thanks, bachelorette party favors!). Finally, we also discovered a new theme that appears to be running through the “Real Houswives” franchise: a fear of strippers.
While Porsha seemed horrified by the prospect of seeing actual (gasp!) naked people while in Vegas on “The Real Housewives of Altanta,” this time around we have not one but two (two!) housewives whose gentle natures are deeply offended by the idea of someone shaking it in a G-string. Both Heather and Lydia are worried about going to Mexico with the girls to celebrate Tamra’s impending nuptials because party planner Gretchen really, really wants to take the fun to a strip club. Lydia is worried that, though she will leave the O.C. a little girl, this experience may return her a full-grown woman. Given that she has two kids and a husband, I was kind of thinking she wasn’t a little girl anymore anyway. Silly me.
Heather doesn’t seem quite as horrified (though she did seem quite shocked by the idea of a donkey show), but is more concerned that she’ll be dragged down into the lower classes much by her castmates. I’d tell Heather she has nothing to worry about, considering that she’s already been thoroughly degraded just by being on the show. Rub up on some random guy, Heather! Things can’t get any worse at this point anyway!
Apparently the stripping (which looked like a lot more than stripping) is next week, so we’ll get to see Lydia and Heather gasp like dying fishes then. One person we know won’t gasp at the scandal of stripping is Vicki. Lauri (whom we’d largely forgotten about) popped up briefly to tell Gretchen all about her former boss’ hijinks with men and women (not donkeys, unfortunately). Gretchen can hardly keep this to herself, and the good news is that after Vicki dumps Gretchen and Heather to drag Tamra and Lydia off for some fun, she no longer has reason to do so. Gretchen, armed with damning information, is sure to pick a fight with the elder Housewife next week.
I’m not expecting anything new from the resulting melee, of course. Vicki will scream in that particularly unnerving way of hers. Tamra (who actually tried to have a Zen moment with Alexis this week) will probably join in, and Lydia will sit by and bat her big, doe-like eyes at the situation. But it seems even Lydia can’t stay above the fray for long, as she’s one of the screamers in next week’s promo. Yes, Lydia, even those with the best intentions and a bucket full of fairy dust can’t stay out of the dirt for long on this show.
What do you think about the Housewives aversion to strippers? Do you think Tamra is a changed woman? And did you think Heather’s dinner outing was a bust, too?