As the 69th (and nicest) Cannes Film Festival continues, there is more than just Woody Allen’s reputation and George Clooney’s all-in bet against Donald Trump to talk about. For example, did you know that movies are playing there? I know, shocked the hell out of my tiny brain. On top of that, there is a ton of casting news for the buzziest new film projects being scooped up by the biggest studios, and because this is a huge week for movie news, there are also a few trailers worth taking a look at.
We’ve already marveled at the first official trailer for Assassin’s Creed and rolled our eyes back into our skulls like The Undertaker thanks to the Yoga Hosers trailer, but what about the other big titles getting previews this week? Let’s start the fun with the trailer for The Accountant, which stars Ben Affleck in what looks like A Beautiful Mind ran head-first into the Bourne franchise.
The Accountant
Starring: Ben Affleck, Anna Kendrick, J.K. Simmons, Jon Bernthal, Jeffrey Tambor, John Lithgow
What’s it about?
Christian Wolff (Affleck) is a math savant with more affinity for numbers than people. Behind the cover of a small-town CPA office, he works as a freelance accountant for some of the world’s most dangerous criminal organizations. With the Treasury Department’s Crime Enforcement Division, run by Ray King (J.K. Simmons), starting to close in, Christian takes on a legitimate client: a state-of-the-art robotics company where an accounting clerk (Anna Kendrick) has discovered a discrepancy involving millions of dollars. But as Christian uncooks the books and gets closer to the truth, it is the body count that starts to rise.
Uhhhhhhhhhh, yes and please. Affleck and his giant back tattoo define normal on November 4.
Meanwhile in seriously NSFW-ville…
The Neon Demon
Starring: Elle Fanning, Jena Malone
What’s it about?
Jesse (Elle Fanning), an aspiring model, moves to Los Angeles, where she is recruited by a fashion mogul (Alessandro Nivola) as his muse. Upon entering the city’s modeling industry, she finds her vitality and youth are devoured by a group of beauty-obsessed women who will use any means to get what she has.
Move over, Black Swan. There’s a new dark tale of beauty and obsession in town courtesy of Drive filmmaker Nicolas Winding Refn. It hits theaters on June 24.
Hell or High Water
Starring: Jeff Bridges, Chris Pine, Ben Foster
What’s it about?
In HELL OR HIGH WATER, two brothers, Toby (Chris Pine) and Tanner (Ben Foster), go on a calculated bank robbery spree that puts them on a collision course with a West Texas Ranger (Academy Award-winner Jeff Bridges) determined to take them down.
Hot take time: Ben Foster is a great actor who should be in more movies. He was perfect as the protégé-turned-roasted-idiot in The Mechanic, and I thought his sniveling addict a-hole stole the show in Contraband (especially when compared to Giovanni Ribisi’s accent). So I’m pretty geeked for this under-the-radar cops and robbers thriller, which opens August 12.
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Don’t Breathe (via EW)
Starring: Stephen Lang, Dylan Minnette, Jane Levy, Daniel Zovatto
What’s it about?
A trio of reckless thieves breaks into the house of a wealthy blind man, thinking they’ll get away with the perfect heist. They’re wrong.
More like Don’t Steal from a Blind Badass, am I right? Holy crap, this looks intense as hell. Don’t Breathe hits theaters on August 26 and should convince all of us that Lang is the only choice to play Cable in the X-Force films. Please, just don’t hurt us, Stephen.
Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk
Starring: Joe Alwyn, Kristen Stewart, Chris Tucker, Garrett Hedlund, Vin Diesel, Steve Martin
What’s it about?
Director Ang Lee brings his extraordinary vision to Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, based on the widely-acclaimed, bestselling novel. The film is told from the point of view of 19-year-old private Billy Lynn (newcomer Joe Alwyn) who, along with his fellow soldiers in Bravo Squad, becomes a hero after a harrowing Iraq battle and is brought home temporarily for a victory tour. Through flashbacks, culminating at the spectacular halftime show of the Thanksgiving Day football game, the film reveals what really happened to the squad – contrasting the realities of the war with America’s perceptions. The film also stars Kristen Stewart, Chris Tucker, Garrett Hedlund, with Vin Diesel, and Steve Martin. Lee used new technology, shooting at an ultra-high frame rate for the first time in film history, to create an immersive digital experience helping him dramatize war in a way never seen before.
The slowed down, super serious cover song trailer strikes again. The adaptation of Ben Fountain’s book walks into theaters on Veterans Day, November 11.
Tickled
Starring: David Farrier, people who have been tickled
What’s it about?
After stumbling upon a bizarre “competitive endurance tickling” video online, wherein young men are paid to be tied up and tickled, reporter David Farrier reaches out to request a story from the company. But the reply he receives is shocking—the sender mocks Farrier’s sexual orientation and threatens extreme legal action should he dig any deeper. So, like any good journalist confronted by a bully, he does just the opposite and uncovers a vast empire, known for harassing and harming the lives of those who protest their involvement in these films. The more he investigates, the stranger it gets, discovering secret identities and criminal activity.
Discovering the truth becomes Farrier’s obsession, despite increasingly sinister threats. With humor and determination, Farrier and co-director Dylan Reeve summon up every resource available to get to the bottom of this tickling wormhole.
TICKLING EMPIRE! TICKLING CELLS ALL OVER THE U.S.! This looks f*cking amazing. At the very least, that’s the best trailer I’ll see this week.
