Kevin Garnett: “Many Things Are Probable”

By: 05.06.11  •  4 Comments

Through aggressive shirt touseling and a series of screams, Kevin Garnett made it clear to Green Street that the Celtics are ready to hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats, and that he is Boston’s blackest and greenest Mark Messier.


“We’re taking their best shot. I still don’t think we’ve played our best basketball and we’ve got to do that. We can’t just come out here and talk about it. We’re not on the white sands of the beach no more. We’re back in the jungle. Hopefully that’ll do some good for us. We’ll figure it out. I told you man, we’re all in. I got two pocket Kings and I’m all in. Let’s do it.”

Sometimes mixing metaphors doesn’t work (like the song “2 A.M.” by Anna Nalick, where she compares life to an hourglass glued to a table with difficult to find controls inside of a cable car), but when you’re Kevin Garnett and sports are on the line, it is awesome. You’re in the jungle, and I’m willing to cheat at cards to beat you while you’re there! I couldn’t cheat when we were playing on the beach but NOW I CAN BECAUSE THE JUNGLE. Garnett’s roaring is especially welcome in response to the L.A. Lakers, who are down two-zip to the Mavericks and the best Kobe Bryan can do is practice quietly.

So, With Leather (I am addressing you directly), since I won’t talk to you again until Monday, what’s going to happen? Which approach is going to work? Can the Celtics or the Lakers rebound? And what happens if they don’t, and we have to watch the Hawks? Am I even allowed to do that?

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