As someone who is naturally sculpted and forged from flesh and iron, when my buddy Chris at Dog and Pony Show Tweeted a video of a guy doing no-armed push-ups, I thought for sure it was about me, but it turns out that someone else on this planet is capable of such a feat with his feet. Too bad the video above is a fake. It has to be. No one on this planet is as powerful as me, but if the Russians are trying to clone me, then Barack Obama and the boys better send some other clones of me to Moscow on the fly or we’re gonna have some real life A Good Day to Die Hard going down.
Also, that movie was awesome. So go see that tonight if you haven’t already.
NCAA Basketball: Providence at Syracuse – 7 PM ET on ESPN 2
NCAA Basketball: Oklahoma at Texas Tech – 7 PM ET on ESPN U
In order to boost ratings for these boring games, ESPN should have Kate Upton come on at halftime and see how many tubs of cottage cheese she can eat in 5 minutes. The answer is ALL OF THEM BECAUSE SHE’S SO FAT!!!
NHL: Flyers at Penguins – 7:30 PM ET on NBC Sports
It’s Eric Lindross against Mario Lemieux! Sorry, that’s the extent of my hockey. Here’s an Ice Girl.
NBA: New Orleans at Cleveland – 8 PM ET on ESPN
Wait, this is a live game from this year? Gee, ESPN, way to spoil us rotten.
WWE Main Event – 8 PM ET on ION
Make sure to tune in to watch reigning champ Black President take all of Billy Bob America’s guns from him while Intercontinental Champ Mustafa Kaboom marries his wife and daughter in a Japanese car. Also, The Shield will show up and fail to answer yet again why that one guy wears a shirt under his vest.