I don’t know if I’m ever going to write an organized review of White House Down, be it here or for the Smithsonian, because all I could ever say about such an American masterpiece could only be written in sonnet form.

First, the huge news – Channing Tatum is a proud father.

First thing’s first, amigos – HAPPY 33rd BIRTHDAY, CHANNING MATTHEW TATUM.

Olympus Has Fallen has been in theaters since Friday and has already grossed $33 million on a $70 million budget, and it is also holding strong on Rotten Tomatoes with 50% and 79% critics and audience ratings, respectively.

Undeterred by <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2012/11/matthew-mcconaughey-needs-magic-mike-oscar" target="_blank">Matthew McConaughey</a>'s biggest <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2013/01/list-best-worst-snubs-of-2012-2013-oscar-nominations" target="_blank">Oscar snub</a> of all time (with the "<a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2012/12/ladies-of-tampa-declared-eligible-for-best-original-song" target="_blank">Ladies of Tampa</a>" snub being a close second), Magic Mike producers are still moving forward with plans for a Magic Mike Broadway musical.

New York Times chief film critic A.

I don’t know, you guys.

Burnsy already broke the news <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2012/11/channing-tatum-will-be-named-peoples-sexiest-man-alive-for-2012" target="_blank">yesterday</a> accompanied by <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Ovation.jpeg" target="_blank">this glorious Photoshop</a>, but in case you didn't trust an early exclusive from a site called "gossipcop," rest easy as it has been confirmed, Channing Tatum has been named <a href="http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20315920_20647632,00.html#1114sf" target="_blank">People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive</a>.

Earlier today, I received an email from the fine people at Gentlemen’s Quarterly magazine regarding their selections for the annual "Men of the Year" feature, or however they refer to it.

In case you don’t have a giant chart on your wall that tracks the success of Channing Tatum films like I do, our favorite rec center savior had three films that topped the $100 million mark.

Is every movie just going to be based on/inspired by some real event.

Good news, unemployed people of New Orleans.

16-year old U.

Actor Channing Tatum has undoubtedly reached A-list status this year, what with <a href="http://boxofficemojo.com/people/chart/?id=channingtatum.htm">all 3 of his films grossing more than $100 million</a> and <a href="http://www.eonline.com/news/330502/george-clooney-and-stacy-keibler-host-channing-tatum-and-jenna-dewan-in-italy">him hanging out with George Clooney</a>, so he can pretty much do whatever he wants at this point.

With Magic Mike officially becoming Channing Tatum’s third $100 million movie of 2012, Hollywood’s newest A-lister has been understandably busy these past few weeks (notably, <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/2012/08/tweets-come-to-life-what-if-the-best-rejectedolympicevents-were-real#page/8">winning the gold in Competitive Twerking</a>).

This morning marked the first time in three days that I logged into Twitter and didn’t see #RejectedOlympicEvents trending, and that’s a very good thing.

Well.

I meant to hit this little tidbit of “news” yesterday, but I was too busy opening my own custom furniture shop in Tampa, thanks to the inspiration that Magic Mike provided me.

Now that Magic Mike has been released and the chaos of the promotional tours and marketing has died down, we can once again re-focus on what many people are referring to “The Eventual Greatest Blockbuster Motion Picture of All-Time”.

Opening Errwherrr, WHAT SON: MAGIC MIKE.