For Channing Tatum’s Birthday: An Exclusive White House Down Deleted Scene, ‘Dope Pope’

First thing’s first, amigos – HAPPY 33rd BIRTHDAY, CHANNING MATTHEW TATUM! While 2012 will forever be known as the Year of the Tates, what with his success in having three blockbusters earn more than $100 million each, this has so far been the laid back vacation year that C-Tates very much deserves. So tonight, when you’re out at a bar, perhaps waiting to perform Nelson’s “Love and Affection” at karaoke night, raise a beer or white wine spritzer in honor of Tatum’s birthday, knowing that he’ll be looking up at that same night sky after vomiting from too many Alabama slammers.

That said, my HOTT GOSS email inbox has been pretty empty lately, what with several lawsuits claiming that my special brand of celebrity gossip is “100% wrong” and “completely fabricated”, but rest assured that I will walk away victorious. Fortunately, I woke this morning to find one email, and talk about convenient – it’s an exclusive White House Down storyboard from one of the film’s few deleted scenes.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Agent Cole Baretta in “Da Dope Pope”, starring C-Tates, Pitbull as the voice of Pitbull the American Bulldog, Beyonce as “Senorita Caliente” and Sir 50 Cent as the Pope.