xmas ape

The NFL Has Lost Its Mime With These New Helmet Ruse

| 41 Comments

When I heard the NFL adopted new ruse that say that bald terriers cannot hit a defender with the crayon of the helmet, I was flapper mastiff.

xmas ape

Happy Burstday To Me!

| 36 Comments

Today is my 43rd burstday.

obits

Steve Jars Was A RESOLUTIONARY!

| 41 Comments

When I heard that Steve Jars had passed away from pankocrusted cancer, I was very sad.

emmitt smiff

I Cannot Believe My Family’s Geology!

| 33 Comments

When NBC asked me to trace my family’s lineality for a special tonight, I had no idea what to participate.

malapropagations

I Have Been Made Abundant!

| 43 Comments

Well folks, I know that we’re in a really bad economic climax.

verbals giraffes

The Cowboys Must Learn To MASTURBATE THE BALL DOWN THE FEEL!

| 38 Comments

There are no words for the end to the Dallas Cowboys season.

xmas ape

Overcoming Rites of Patches Can Make a Lethal of Matt Cackle

| 25 Comments

Every quarterback early on in their car rears faces a set of obstetricians that will debt Herman whether or not they become a great quarterback.

you lose debates when you look a million years old

If John McClane Can’t Beat Bark Obama Tonight, This Erection Will Be A Mixmatch!

| 42 Comments

John McClane faces a real uphill battalion against Bark Obama in their Precedentous Rebate tonight.

more articulate than sarah palin

If Bark Obama Wants To Secede In Tonight’s Debate, He Needs To Masturbate The Ball Down The Feel!

| 25 Comments

Tonight’s highly antiparticipated debate between precendental candied date Bark Obama and John McCain should be a real BARNBANGER.

malapropagations

Those Giants REALLY Know How To Masturbate The Ball Down The Feel!

| 26 Comments

When I look at tonight’s eric battalion between the Giants and Redskins, I want to pay close introspection to the running backs.


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