You know, there are some people who will convince you babies have mind control powers. They pop one out and suddenly, there is literally nothing they can do or say that doesn’t somehow involve the baby. True, parents are coming to grips with this new little adorable creature in their lives, and everybody processes it their own way. But signing the kid up for Twitter should not be one of them.
Courtesy of New York magazine, the latest trend among “media elites” is to be incredibly annoying on Twitter. Or at least to creepily impersonate their offspring on Twitter.
Harper was registered for an account at birth by her moms to “give her a little voice in the loud world of social media,” said Jenna [Wolfe, a freaking television correspondent]. “Didn’t know if anyone would follow her tweets, but I figured she’d have at least two loyal followers — her mother and me.
I promised my editor I would not just intersperse quotes from this article with GIFs of vomit. That said, I didn’t promise anything beyond that. So take it away, Liz Lemon!
The rest of the article is pretty much exactly what you would expect: incredibly self-absorbed people being impossibly insufferable, overcome with fear that a troll will take the Twitter handle or email address their precious spawn will surely someday want. No, insane media parents, trolls will not make a Twitter for your baby, and if they do, you can just report it to Twitter, which will delete it.
Look, again, the baby is the most important thing in a new parent’s life. Obviously. And, yeah, everybody comes to grips with that in different ways. But, first of all, let’s not pretend this isn’t using your kid as a transparent bid for attention. And, secondly, it’s stunningly unoriginal. Parents have been doing this twee, nauseating garbage on Facebook for years. We all see it. We all hate it. Just because you are a “media elite” doesn’t make it any less twee and nauseating.
So stop doing it. Because I’ve got a massive pile of vomit GIFs right here, and I’m not afraid to use them.
(Image courtesy of cal_gecko on Flickr)
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