You know, there comes a point where you have to wonder if the luxury goods industry realizes the stuff it’s making could very easily wind up in a Bond villain’s lair. We’re betting Suitart realized this and decided to go all out, because they made a diamond-studded, “luxury” bulletproof suit called the Diamond Armor.
As far as we can tell, this is a completely serious product and not a joke. Suitart is a high-end suit-maker based in Switzerland. You can buy normal, if expensive, suits from them any day of the week. This, though… well, we’ll let Suitart describe it:
The suit is waterproof due to nano-technological sealing, bulletproof (certified by NATO standards) and equipped with an active cooling system. The lining shows an artwork, which was prominently featured in the Hollywood blockbuster This Means War. Additionally, the Diamond Armor is graced with 880 black diamonds decorating the buttons and the lapel.
The bulletproofing isn’t a gimmick, either. The suit is ranked to stop handgun fire, although a larger round might be able to punch through it. The cooling system is also a fairly advanced piece of technology, designed not to change the profile of the suit. Oh, and if you want a tie to go with your diamond-studded bulletproof suit, you can buy one: It’s made out of gold.
Sorry, you’ll have to build and staff the volcano fortress yourself. They can’t fulfill every Bond villain fantasy you have.
Needless to say, the Diamond Armor will have to be custom-tailored, both to ensure the proper fit and also because nobody makes a suit that costs as much as a mansion on spec. As for who’d buy this, it’s rather telling that the most prominently featured language on the site, to the point where the right translation is bolded, is Russian. You know, because Russia wasn’t nearly weird or scary enough.