Nine Thoughts About The Spoiled Brats In The New Mercedes-Benz Winter Commercial

11.15.16 3 weeks ago 5 Comments

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1) This is the new Mercedes-Benz winter commercial. Set to a cover of Bob Dylan’s “To Make You Feel My Love,” it depicts a lovestruck boy overcoming snowy conditions to go on a date with his sweetie at a local movie theater, with the kicker being that both of them were able to make it because their parents’ cars had the four-wheel drive necessary to traverse the slick conditions. It is a sweet little story about teenage and parental love, and it ends with the kid staring at his crush in the parking lot with that look of nerves and excitement that is instantly relatable to anyone who went on a date as a teenager.

2) I hate these kids so much.

3) The characters, I mean. Not the actual kids who play them. I’m sure they’re very nice and I wish them the best in their careers and in life, in general. This is a Pete Campbell situation, where I have no personal animosity toward Vincent Kartheiser, but I devoted hundreds of words to fantasies about his character on Mad Men getting eaten by a bear. I realize and respect that this is not normal. I’m okay with it.

4) Here’s my reasoning: While this is very much the commercial I described in Point Number One, it is also a commercial about two spoiled children overcoming, like, three inches of snow to make out during an empty showing of Jack Reacher: Never Look Back or whatever, thanks entirely to their absurdly wealthy parents driving them there. How truly inspirational and heartwarming.

5) Quick note: I went with Jack Reacher for the movie they’re seeing both because that’s the funniest movie I can picture them watching after this sweet little commercial, and because I’m getting a great deal of joy thinking about that girl’s annoyed face when the boy starts ignoring her halfway through the movie so he can watch violent depictions of bad guys getting murdered, as teenage boys have been doing since the dawn of movies and/or violent murder.

6) The best is that the dad clearly wants no part of driving his kid to this movie, considering his only lines of dialogue in the whole thing are a scoffing “Did you look outside?” while standing in his living room and a cranky “Sure is coming down…” as he is speeding through town. He and his wife are definitely going to have an argument about this in the two hours between this commercial ending and him driving back to pick the kid up in even worse conditions after the movie. I mean, just look at the look he shoots her after she whispers “Take him.” This is not a happy man.

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