Justified (FX, Not On) — The fact that Justified is taking the week off for the Olympics is the biggest story in What’s On Tonight should tell you all you need to know about what’s on tonight (hint: Very little).
True Detective (HBO to Go) — Just watch last week’s episode again. Actually, start all over from the beginning. Take copious notes. Report your findings back to us tomorrow. I’ve come to the conclusion that the key to the killer’s identity is the man (or woman) who has the most convenient access to antlers. Has anyone questioned the taxidermist?
House of Cards (Netflix) — Oh, you’re finished already? Did you enjoy it watching it that fast? Louis Peitzman doesn’t believe that’s possible. You know who it’s a “pain” for, Peitzman? People who feel like they HAVE to finish the series in one day. The rest of us take pleasure in knowing that the Netflix strategy allows us a new episode anytime we want to watch one. Like, for instance, tonight, when there’s nothing else on.
The 2014 Winter Olympics (NBC, 8 p.m.) — Or you could just do what everyone else is doing and watch the Olympics, if only to see what the Costas Eye Alert is tonight.
Cougar Town (TBS, 10 p.m.) — Andy makes a cat video for Bro Day in tonight’s episode. No, really. That’s what happens, and honestly, it’s probably the best thing that will happen in prime time.
Tosh.0 (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.) — The sixth season premiere. Here’s a Valentine someone wrote about Tosh.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Sage Kotsenburg is on Letterman, and because I don’t recognize that name, I’m assuming it’s an Olympian; Fallon’s second night has Kristen Wiig and Jerry Seinfeld; Bill O’Reilly is on Kimmel; Ted Danson will grace Ferguson’s set; Kevin Spacey is on The Daily Show; and Conan has Mel Brooks.