Aziz Ansari is distributing his standup special online in the same vein as Louis C.K. and Jim Gaffigan. Since it’s available for purchase ($5) now, Ansari returned to Reddit after a five month absence to do another Ask Me Anything, and it went much better than Woody Harrelson’s. He only mentioned Rampart once.
The full Reddit thread is available here, and all of Aziz Ansari’s posts are on his member page. We’ll save you some time, however, and highlight some of the best excerpts here. Read on if you want to learn what Ron Swanson smells like, what little cousin Harris is up to, what he thinks about file sharing, what happened to Randy, and how easy it is to get Ansari to wingman for you with Rashida Jones.
jtylerjones: What does Nick Offerman smell like? This is important.
Aziz Ansari: This is true. He smells like cappucinos or something cause he uses these lozenges to stop smoking. It’s kind of warm and comforting. He also eats a lot of bacon and does woodwork stuff just like Ron Swanson. He’s the best.
parots: What’s the best thing you like about working with Amy Poehler? What’s the most unexpected ting she’s ever done that you know of?
Aziz Ansari: She’s awesome. She’s randomly sitting next to me on this flight watching that new Sherlock Holmes show from BBC. That’s unexpected.
icebat: How much of your personality is incorporated into Tom Haverford?
Aziz Ansari: We both love hip hop and suits. And are small bearded Indian men.
danimaroo: In real life, do you call chicken parm “chicky chicky parm parm”? Please say yes.
Aziz Ansari: No but I do say sammys.
sturgeon25: You think you could hook me up with Rashida Jones?
Aziz Ansari: Yeah I’ll text her that sturgeon25 is DOWN.
saphilip: When did you decide to go with the 5 dollar stand up on your website?
Aziz Ansari: I recorded the special in June and paid for it myself, knowing I wanted to release it online. A few months later I was with Louis CK watching his special while he edited and he told me his plan. I wasn’t sure if it would work. It clearly did. People loved that method and immediately I was asked if I would do it so, it seemed like a smart move.
roji-aich: I thought it was probably inspired by Louis C. K. That’s great that you’re doing one as well, I think it’s a much fairer system to just charge a few bucks and give the customer the video, plain and simple no complications. Maybe more people will see the potential profits and follow suit.
Aziz Ansari: I really believe that people won’t steal if buying is fairly priced and convenient. There have been several studies saying that, and I believe it.
ZSaintJames: How long do you work on a set before you film it?
Aziz Ansari: For a long time. Writing the material for a tour takes about 8 months to a year, depending on my acting commitments. Then I toured this one, on and off for about a year? Buried Alive has taken me about a year to write. I’ll tour that for a while before recording it.
cfenton23: What is the best joke you know that you can tell on the internet but not in one of your specials?
Aziz Ansari: With internet release, I can tell whatever joke I want in my specials cause its uncensored. Woooooo!
ferretmochalatte: Favorite comedians?
Aziz Ansari: Hannibal Buress, Chelsea Peretti, Doug Stanhope, Louis CK, Patrice O’Neal (check out Mr. P, the bit about bread is so funny)
timofo: What would you have done if the comedy thing didn’t pan out?
Aziz Ansari: I don’t know, probably just be a fat Indian man that eats a lot of food and lives at home.
Cptn_Worchestershire: What’s the story behind this picture? A lot of really talented people in one place!
Aziz Ansari: That was after a Watch the Throne show in LA.
lotusflower16: What happened to Randy?
fattehboi: he died eating a girl out underwater.
Aziz Ansari: Yep.
yogurtraisins: Hi Aziz Ansari!! Huge, huge fan. Tell us a bit about how it felt to see the President of the United States of America not only talking about you, but teasing you about your Twitter follower count? That just sounds like it would be the most surreal moment ever.
Edit: Link to video for the curious.
Aziz Ansari: It was insane. I’m going to talk about it on Fallon next Wednesday, I’ll tell the whole story.
arghaaronburr: Are you circumcised? This is REALLY important!
Aziz Ansari: I’m really concerned that this is “REALLY important.”
philm0: Upcoming projects, specifically a Randy Movie? Did that fall through the cracks?
Aziz Ansari: We sold that idea but decided to work on other the projects we sold first. All of that stuff is “in development,” “going through drafts,” etc. Movie stuff is so slow. That’s why I love standup!!!
chaospherezero: Do you think you’ll ever become so successful you’ll no longer do stand-up, or do you view stand-up as a necessary part of your career?
Aziz Ansari: I love standup and hope to do it when I’m old as f-ck. Its the best.
Sevidicalone: If you were able to write yourself into the next season of Breaking Bad, who would your character be?
Aziz Ansari: Oh my god. Great question. Maybe Tuco’s lil’ nephew? Or Saul’s intern?
coooolbeans: What are some of the new shows that Harris is watching?
Aziz Ansari: Pretty sure he’s watching Suits and White Collar. I love there’s 2 USA shows with vague titles based on clothing. Leather Belt, Thurs at 10/9c on USA.
Telekineticism: Have any other Harris stories? Or are you saving them for future shows?
Edit: also, have any other favorite racial slurs? It’s cool, we’re ready for it, we won’t be offended.
Aziz Ansari: Harris stories – there are too many, I decided not to do any on the new tour though. There is a new one on Dangerously Delicious about helping with his college essay that might be the best one. There was one I cut about where I tricked him into thinking he had Drake’s AIM handle.
Racial slurs – go to Wikipedia and type List of Racial Slurs. BOOM.
BearsAreDangerous: How did you get started and break into comedy? Was it tough to decide to focus soley on comedy? Did you have to make lots of sacrifices (in the beginning)?
Aziz Ansari: I started doing standup in college and it went from there. Sacrifices? You just do standup as much as you can every night, not a sacrifice if you love it.
StormFreak: What are the first 5 songs I would hear coming from your own DJ Roomba?
Aziz Ansari: Drake – The Motto Meek Mill – I’m a Boss Jay Z – Can I Live? French Montana – Shot Caller (Remix with Diddy version) The Throne – I Love You So
SadSanta12: What do you make of today’s news that R. Kelly is officially coming out with a new “Trapped in the Closet” DVD? (https://pitchfork.com/news/45867-r-kellys-trapped-in-the-closet-returns/)
Aziz Ansari: WHAT???!
bringbacknameneko: Please tell me you just did this.
Aziz Ansari: Hey sorry I left abruptly, was using wifi on a plane and we landed. I’m back now. Sturgeon25 still no word for Rashida but I let her know you were interested.
sturgeon25: Youre the best my man
reebzor: If you could no longer work in show business, what would you do for work?
Aziz Ansari: Try to host a travel show where I eat food and become fatter
coldbitterness: What has it been like to suddenly get to meet and hang out with people who you were a fan of before you became famous? I love reading stuff you post online since you’re such a pop culture nerd (in the best “I want to eat food and watch The Wire with you” way), except you have actually spent time with so many people you’ve nerded out over.
Aziz Ansari: Meeting you people admire and respect is really crazy. The coolest shit ever was I dropped in to work on new standup at this comedy club in NYC and Chris Rock did too and after we both talked for a long time about developing material and comedy and all sorts of stuff. That dude is WHY I even became a comedian. I couldn’t believe it. He’s the best.
terryalj: I would like to hear an interesting Aziz Ansari story. Hopefully involving Kobe Bryant or Kanye West. Truth or fiction. This would make my week. Can you make that happen for me?
Aziz Ansari: Me, Kanye, and Kobe are playing Boggle while I do this Reddit AMA. It’s my turn, gotta run.
lock-watcher: What are your thoughts about Rampart
Aziz Ansari: Man Woody Harrelson really f-cked himself here huh??!
Aziz Ansari: Sh-t. I actually gotta go now. Thanks for all your questions. We’ll do it again soon? Also thanks to everyone that bought the special. I’ll work on getting Harris to do an AMA, if you all plant those fake Dangerously Delicious torrents with either Jingle All the Way or Rampart.
So that’s it. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to go load up all the torrent sites with copies of Rampart mislabeled as Ansari’s “Dangerously Delicious” comedy special.