'Scooby-Doo' Scribe's Ejaculations Are Abnormally Massive, Claims 'Scooby-Doo' Scribe

07.10.12 6 years ago 6 Comments

Prior to today, I’d no idea who James Gunn was. I mean, I recognized his name and knew him as someone involved in the entertainment industry, but I certainly couldn’t have spit out any of the significant details of his resume or any biographical facts about him.

Now, however, after doing some quick Googling, I know that he’s the guy who wrote the screenplays for Scooby-Doo and Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, in addition to having written Tromeo and Juliet and Super, and he was once married to Pam from The Office. I also know that James Gunn shoots buckets of cum when he orgasms.

How do I know this about James Gunn, you ask?

Well, I know it because someone I follow on Tumblr and Twitter made mention of him going on a recent Nerdist Channel podcast — the Indoor Kids with Kumail and Emily — and saying how he loved getting hand jobs more than blowjobs. Intrigued by such an unusual, potentially trolling statement, I gave the podcast a listen, only to discover something more hilarious and weird: Gunn braying on and on about the size and speed of his ejaculations.

Further, Gunn says that he only jacks off early in the week so as to be sure he can jizz heavier than normally if he gets laid on the weekend. (I mean, you really haven’t f*cked a woman properly unless you marinate her in semen from head to toe at the end, amiright?) Gunn claims that this regimented, disciplined wanking schedule enables him to produce impossibly gargantuan loads of hot jizz, even more that legendary porn milk man Peter North — the guy affectionately known as “The Decorator” within the adult industry.

“Actually, I think I’m actually physically blessed…yes, I have huge loads,” Gunn said. “I’m serious, my loads are bigger than Peter North’s.”

Gunn later added, “I love handjobs. I prefer handjobs to blowjobs,” and went on to say that he makes a point to politely warn each and every lady who jerks him off about the firehose of steaming baby batter they’ll soon find themselves drenched in. James Gunn is gentleman, obviously!

Anyway, the gooey podcast is embedded below. Enjoy!

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