The Amazing Spider-Man 2 might be “a casualty of a mass-marketing campaign” and a “product to sell merch,” but hey, it stars Emma Stone, so it’s still worth, well, maybe not a $15 movie ticket, but I’m going to watch the HELL out of it when it’s on HBO next year. Rather than list all the reasons why she should ditch Andrew Garfield and totally hook up with me, and then we’d have sassy, quick-witted children, I’m instead going to explain why she would make a great best friend (with benefits…?).
1. Her feelings on alcohol are appreciated and supported.
2. What were we talking about? I got lost in some witch-like eyes.
3. Something something exercise.
4. She’d be the one person who could actually make karaoke fun.
5. She’s really good at improving self-esteem.
6. She’s the kind of gal who’d have your back in a fight TO THE DEATH.
7. She could introduce us to Spider-Man.
8. You can never go wrong with an Admiral Akbar reference.
9. She realizes “Les Jeunes De Paris” is one of the few good recurring sketches on SNL.
10. Well, I mean, if it comes to that…