17 Recent Pokemon That Prove the Series’ Creators Are Almost Burnt Out

01.13.12 6 years ago 10 Comments

So, around 15-years ago a few Japanese guys got together and made this simple little RPG for the original Gameboy filled with cute imaginary creatures. There was a little lizard with a fiery tail! A chubby cheeked electric squirrel! There was Squirtle! Awesome!
Then this cute little RPG somehow became one of the most popular video games of all time, and suddenly these Japanese guys were sentenced to a lifetime of hard Pokemon-creating labor. For a while they tried their hardest. It really seemed like they were trying to come up with the next Pikachu or Bulbasaur, but somewhere around 2007’s Pokemon Pearl and Diamond, it became obvious the guys at Game Freak (the developers behind Pokemon) were starting to burn out. It only got worse with last year’s Pokemon Black and White.
The following aren’t necessarily the worst or weirdest Pokemon from Diamond/Pearl and Black/White, but they are the most half-assed. The least creative. They’re the Pokemon scribbled on a napkin over lunch and dumped directly into the game. In other words, you’ll spend far more time trying to catch most of these guys than was ever put into creating them…

Note – I’m judging these Pokemon entirely on their visual design. Maybe they evolve into something great, or gain giga mega tackle explosion at level 56. Do not bother telling me these things. Thanks.
This thing is completely unbelievable as any sort of living creature. That’s half the fun of Pokemon — the good ones actually look like something that could exist on some lost continent where everything’s much cuter than on our own. No kid’s ever going to believe this thing could be real though.
Clearly the designer was just drawing geometric honeycomb shapes in the margins of his paper, added some smiley faces to few of them and called it a day. That or he copied the mascot on a jar of honey.
It’s a cherry with a face on it. If the last one wasn’t inspired by a jar of honey, then this one was definitely inspired by a cherry-flavored yogurt cup from the office fridge.
“So, I was thinking — a Pokemon that’s a balloon. Great idea right?”
“Well, it’s a little plain.”
“How about if I stick some hearts on?”
“Stiiiilll just a balloon with hearts dangling off it.”
“How about a cloud on its head?”
“Uhhhh…”
“…and a random ‘X’ on it’s face?”
“Okay! Fine fine! Just leave me alone — I’m trying to come up with a 10th slight variation on Pikachu here!”
This is a pigeon — that’s it. No embellishment. Nothing extra. Just a pigeon.
“So, what inspired you to create Pidove?”
“Uh, turning my head slightly to the left towards the window.”
“Ah…”

“So, what inspired you to created Deerling?”
“Ever seen Bambi?”
“Ah…”
“But I colored one of them green! Nobody’s gonna see that one coming.”


So yeah, as you’ll notice as you make your way through this list, a lot of recent Pokemon belong to the “just take some random object and add googly eyes and a smile to it” school of design. These three are why you should not design Pokemon on a hot day while you’re hungry.
Okay, the ice-cream cone ones were lame, but at least they were based on something kids like. Conceivably a small part of the joy-center in a kid’s brain might fire up when they catch a Vanillite just because, well, ice-cream is tasty and stuff. These guys on the other hand are based on lighting fixtures.
I can’t wait until the next generation of Pokemon when they unveil other Home Depot-inspired creations like Coppertubingey and Drywallasaurus.
With these two we move beyond mere apathy — these guys are meant to send a message.
“You kids just caaaan’t get enough Pokemon, can you? Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon. I can draw other things you know! Non-Pokemon things! But you don’t want that, do you? Fine, here’s a Pokemon for you. Nice big bag of garbage…googly eyes…sharp teeth…done!
See what you’ve made me do kids? See what you’ve made me create?!”
Bet you thought we’d never get Pokemon obviously created while some guy jerked off to SuicideGirls. But hey, this really was the only step left to go down after you’ve created Trubbish.

Okay, I’ve been being a little mean to Pokemon here, so here’s one from Black/White that I truly love. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still completely lazy — it’s a buffalo with an afro-wig. Putting an afro-wig on something is always lazy. It’s still awesome though — hopefully we see more of this kind of laziness in future Pokemon generations.
What about you folks? What Pokemon do you find particularly uninspired? Any that you kind of love because they’re so lazy? Lemme know in the comments!

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