“So then I put my junk in the box.”
Just after we posted our Comprehensive Guide To The Best, Most Inspiring Commencement Speeches Of 2012, one more addition made its way onto YouTube. In it, Andy Samberg gives the more humorous of the two commencement speeches at Harvard College Class Day. Or at least we assume his was the more humorous speech. The other featured speaker was Barney Frank, and we’ll admit we didn’t watch his speech. Perhaps he busted out a suitcase full of wacky items and delivered a knee-slapping hour of prop comedy. If so, we apologize for any insinuation that the Gentleman from Massachusetts was less hilarious than Mr. Samberg.
Samberg opened his speech by saying he is “as honored to be here today as I am unqualified” and then proceeded to deliver numerous solid comedy bits to a tough crowd, including a rendition of “This Is How We Do It” by
Montel Williams William Butler Yeats, a reenactment of a scene from Dead Poets Society, a slew of tongue-in-cheek insults of Yale, and impersonations of Mark Zuckerberg, Mark Wahlberg, and Nic Cage.
Here are a few of our favorite quotes:
“The world outside of Harvard has asked me to make a quick announcement. The following majors are apparently useless as of tomorrow: History, Literature, all things related to art, Social Studies, East Asian Studies, pretty much anything that ends with “Studies”, Romance Languages, and, finally, Folklore and Mythology? Come on, guys. Just study something useful and play World of Warcraft in your free time, okay? [...] Math and science majors, you guys are cool. Finally.”
“2012 is a great time to be graduating from college. Sure, the job market’s a little slow. Health care and Social Security will evaporate in five years. And you’ll have to work until you’re 80 to support your 110-year old parents who will live forever thanks to nano-technology, but that doesn’t matter.”
“You know it’s hard to know where life will take you from here. What adventures you’ll have, what sitcoms you’ll write for. But my advice to you is simple: relax, dude! You just finished college at Harvard. You worked so hard. Trust me, you’re going to kill it. I went to Santa Cruz then transferred to film school, and I’m rich!”