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If You Have $1 Million To Spare, Then This Gold-Plated Vacuum (With Its Own Theme Song) Is Perfect For You

By 07.01.12, your go-to website for all things vacuums, mainly due to a lack of competition, is selling, well, a vacuum for the everyman and/or -woman. This is assuming the everyman and/or -woman can afford to spend $1 million on a device plated in gold that literally does nothing but suck up garbage.

The “GoVacuum GV62711 24k Gold Plated Vacuum Cleaner” is meant for the “discerning person who has a yacht in the ocean and a rare exotic car in your garage alongside your private jet.” In other words, rich jerks. But I must admit I lied: the vacuum only goes for $999,999.00 because although it’s not worth its weight in gold, the “status and exclusivity of owning a vacuum like this can’t be measured in dollar and cents,” which isn’t so much a deal as a sick joke. I haven’t gotten to the best part, though: the vacuum has its own rap, with such sick rhymes as, “Gold vacuum, one million dolla/it’s gonna make you holla.” My new goal in life is to hear someone, somewhere, someday say, “Yo, when’s the next jam gonna drop?” Not soon enough.


TAGSGOLDonly on the internetrich jerksvacuum

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