Okay, a couple of quick things here…
First of all, I want to remind everyone that we were on the Jennifer Lawrence bandwagon long before the rest of the internet was. We saw her potential to be the internet’s new girlfriend and we showered her with love accordingly. Never forget that. Welcome to the bandwagon, rest of the internet.
Now that she’s won an Oscar — and was particularly awesome at doing so — the old media’s suddenly all up on J-Law’s jock, especially since she was photographed chillin’ on a hotel balcony makeupless in Hawaii in her pajamas with a bottle of wine and a “suspicious cigarette.”
Just say it, celebrity media dinosaurs: SHE WAS SMOKING WEED! JENNIFER LAWRENCE SMOKED A JOINT! OOOOOOOHHHHH SHOCKING! There’s nothing “suspicious” here; she was smoking a goddamn joint, dickheads. If you’d been paying attention you’d have realized long ago that our Jenn’s obviously a stoner queen. Just listen to her talk — a young woman doesn’t acquire a husky voice like hers without sucking a considerable amount of smoke. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Jenn, darling, always remember that we here at UPROXX will never judge you and are always here for you, just as we’ve always been, in the event you just want to sit and chill and talk and get ripped together. You’re like the badass kid sister that we never had, and we love you. Never change.
As for the mainstream media fossils who find themselves suddenly descending on our girl like a flock of hungry vultures to garner pageviews and sell magazines at supermarket checkout lines, stop trying to shame her right now and let her be herself! Go back to giving Anne Hathaway sloppy blowjobs because she rescued a French poodle from a Connecticut puppy mill or something. In other words, step the f*ck off.
LEAVE JENNIFER LAWRENCE ALONE!!!