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Things Are Probably Going To Go Horribly Wrong For The Couple Planning A Dolphin-Assisted Birth

By / 05.29.13

Imagine, if you will, what a couple who traveled 4,500 miles to Hawaii to give birth to their baby boy, Bodhi, looks like. Oh, and the reason they picked Hawaii was because they want dolphins to assist with the birth itself, even though dolphins, as Business Insider points out, are “dangerous animals that could rape you and kill your baby.”

Have a picture in mind? Great. Now let’s see how correct you are.

Ding ding ding, you got it, right down to the big ass earring. Anyway, unborn Bodhi, meet Dr. Flipper.

A couple from North Carolina traveled to Hawaii last month to pursue their dream of having a “dolphin-assisted birth” for their baby due in July, the Charlotte Observer reports.

The couple is hoping to bond with animals in the wild, spending time in the water with them before and after the birth. If the new parents are “lucky” they may even even be able to have the baby in the water, The Sirius Institute, the organization helping with the odd birth plan, says on their website.

Although dolphins can be affectionate toward and form bonds with humans, the animals can be incredibly dangerous, too…They try to rape and drown people; they gang rape their females and sometimes hold them hostage for weeks; they murder baby porpoises for fun; they kill the babies of rival male dolphins, because as soon as her child dies, a female dolphin is ready to be raped and impregnated immediately. (Via)

By the way, I’ve already copyrighted Dr. Flipper, so don’t try to steal it. Especially you, Bodhi.

(Banner via Shutterstock)


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